Page 116 of Love’s Silver Bullet

“I thought I had, sir.” Jake’s voice was barely a whisper as his eyelids lumbered closed, weighted down by a past that still loomed large and lethal, inflicting death on any hope he might ever have.

“So did I, son, after Libby left the first time.”

Jake glanced up, remembering Blaze talking about Finn’s marriage to Libby almost twenty years ago, a marriage that had ended as quickly as it’d started with an argument that stole almost half of their lives.

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

The thief. Jake’s heart constricted. Just like he was trying to do to Jake’s life? Overshadowing the good to keep him locked in the darkness of the past?

Finn absently scratched the back of his head. “At the time, Libby and I didn’t realize how young and immature we were. And speaking for myself”—he actually winced—“I thought it was all her fault, of course, because I was strong and steadfast in my faith, thanks to the Poppys.”

His gaze wandered into a distant stare as the smile faded from his lips. “So, after several years of finally letting Libby go in my mind, I couldn’t understand why despite having four beautiful kids I adored, a thriving silver mine, and an up-and-coming ranch, a part of me still felt like I was living in the dark.”

He grunted, as if almost to himself. “No interest in women. No interest in a future with a wife. No interest in mending emotional fences with Libby, her family, or mine. And no earthly idea I was still living in the shadows, holding onto grievances against my sister and her husband, for abandonment that deeply hurt my nieces and nephews.”

Jake peered up, eyes in a squint. “So, when did you figure it out?”

Finn laughed, the sound harsh during such a grave conversation. “I didn’t. Not till the nightmares started.” His gaze flicked up beneath hooded eyes, nailing Jake to the wall with a knowing look. “Sound familiar?”

Jake swallowed hard as he gave a brief nod.

“Even so, I still didn’t realize what was going on until they got so bad, I sought counsel with Pastor and Mrs. Poppy, two of the wisest people I’ve ever known.”

He paused, as if for effect. “Turns out I had a monumental grudge buried so deep, even I didn’t know it was there, not only against Libby, but especially her father, for breaking us up, and it was eating me alive.”

“So … what did you do?” Jake asked with a bow of his head, eyes lagging into a vacant stare, pretty sure his monumental grudges weren’t buried near as deep as Finn’s. More like festering right below the surface.

“Well, it took some time, mind you,” Finn said quietly, “but through prayer and counseling, I learned to forgive. And as God is my witness, His pure Light—His Son, who is the Way, the Truth, and the Light—chased those shadows and nightmares away once and for all.”

And the light shines in darkness; and the darkness overcame it not.

Moisture immediately burned beneath Jake’s lids. “And you were finally … f-free?” His voice cracked on the last word, hardly able to believe it could ever happen for him.

“Nope. Not quite.”

Jake’s head lashed up.

Finn grinned, reaching out to clasp Jake’s shoulder in a brief grip. “Also had to learn to forgive myself, Jake, for letting Libby go in the first place and for choosing pride over love.”

He hesitated for the briefest of moments. “Sheridan didn’t give us any details, Jake, but she did say you suffer from a great deal of guilt over your brutal past, whether at your hand or that of your parents, and that’s simply not right, son. Galatians 5:1 says, ‘It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.’ So that freedom is sitting right there in the light, Jake, ours for the taking. But it does no good at all if we’re fixed on the shadows behind us, giving more credence to the darkness than the marvelous Light.”

A flicker of hope flared in Jake’s heart as one of his favorite Scriptures burned in his mind’s eye, suddenly clearer than ever before despite the tears that blurred his vision.

If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.

Free indeed.

Not temporarily.

Not partially.

Not almost.

But free.

Firmly. Fully. Forever.

Fingers trembling on his Bible, he closed his eyes, peace flooding his body and his mind so powerfully, he put his hand to his heart.