Page 42 of The Wilder Widows

“I know, I know!” Alice lifted her free hand in submission. “Wait a minute.” Slowing down, she tugged all of us to a stop.

When she turned to face me, and I saw the mischief flickering in her eyes, I knew I should turn and run back to the hotel. Even though she was in impeccable shape and could easily outrun me on a regular day, with her bum foot, I was pretty sure she couldn’t catch me.

“What is going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Sylvie tipped her head.

“I have an idea.” There it was again. The cat that ate the darn canary.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

After a quick cab ride wound us through Paris, we followed along behind Alice until we stood at the door of a boutique shop situated along a small cobblestone street. I tried to read the pink script letters above the door, but I’d never learned French. “What is this place?”

Alice only smiled and pressed open the door, the small bell overhead jingling as we passed beneath it.

“Bonjour!” a women’s voice called from the back of the small store.

“Bonjour!” Alice called back.

As the tiny brunette lady wound her way through the racks toward us, I scanned the bright colors surrounding us. Feather boas in a rainbow of colors brushed along my arm as I passed them by. Shelves filled with colorful objects stretched out along each wall, and I furrowed my brow while I tried to make out what they were. A children’s toy store? Dog toys?

“What can I help you ladies with today?” The young woman asked, switching to English after she heard Alice’s English response.

“We will just need a few minutes to browse, but I’ll be certain to let you know if we have questions. And please, ignore the tantrum that’s about to occur.”

The woman’s furrowed brow mirrored my own. Tantrum?

“Very well.” She shrugged and turned, heading back to her counter. “I’ll be over here if you have any questions.”

When I turned back to face the Wilder Widows, I saw the same mischief twinkling in all three sets of eyes. “What’s going on? What is this place?”

“Doris,” Alice said, taking my hand in hers. “We know we were wrong to try to force a man on you. Sex is not something to be taken lightly.”

I nodded along.

“But your deepest desire was a hootie.”

I scoffed and opened my mouth to speak, but Alice raised her hand and stopped me.

“Now, now. Let me finish. There are other ways to have a hootie that don’t involve a man. And we are standing in the store with every sex toy imaginable to make sure we accomplish our goal.”

Slowly, my eyes widened as I scanned the store again. The bright-colored objects weren’t dog toys or children’s toys, after all. They were sex toys.

“Alice!” I shrieked and started toward the door.

Marge snatched me by the wrist and pulled me back to a stop. “Hold your horses, speed racer.”

I stomped my foot on the ground. “I can’t be in here! It’s not right!”

“Doris,” Sylvie said. “There is nothing wrong with enjoying yourself without a man. It’s natural.”

“These are not natural!” I struggled to take my next breath, feeling like I was in a funhouse as the walls closed in around me.

“Just take a breath, Doris.” Alice exaggerated her own, and I inhaled and exhaled with her. “There. Better?”

“No!”

The clerk at the counter peeked over at us, but Alice reassured her with a wink. “Alright, Doris. Panic is over, and now we can talk about other ways you can get your hootie.”

In all my days, I never imagined I would come to Paris. But even more surprising was the fact I was standing smack dab in the center of a house of pleasure. I could almost feel the disapproving gaze of God staring down at me shaking his head once again. “No. I can’t.”