Page 19 of Born to be Wilder

“I didn’t know!” I defended, but my laughter started to break through.

Marge let out a slow whistle. “Here I thought the Giant Lady’s Leg Sundial was the surprise. Wow. You really pulled off a good one, Sylvie. You even shocked me, and that’s hard to do!”

She clapped my back.

“I seriously didn’t know! I’m just as surprised as all of you.” I laughed harder, the full weight of this ridiculous situation settling in. “I searched ‘things to do in northern Indiana,’ and I saw ‘lady’s leg sundial’ and I stopped reading!”

“I need to tell Axel I cheated.” Doris made the sign of the cross, then lifted the rosary around her neck and kissed it. “And get to confession. Is this a sin? Did I just sin?”

“Doris,” Alice managed between laughs. “You did not cheat on Axel by accidentally seeing a nudist’s dick.”

“I looked!”

“You couldn’t not look!”

“I could have closed my eyes faster! I have seen another man’s wee-wee! Other than both of my husbands’ and my children’s, of course.” She pressed her hands together. “Oh, Lord. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t look. Well, I mean, I looked, kinda, but only for a second. I mean, it was just right there and—oh, Lord.”

The rest of us were fully gone. Leaning on each other, tears starting, the kind of laughter that hollowed out any sadness inside and filled you back up with pure, magnificent joy. Marge was bent at the waist, hands pressed to her knees for support.

Alice wiped away the tears from her eyes, struggling to speak clearly. “Oh, sweet Doris. You saw a naked man. You did not cheat. You did not sin. You’re fine, okay? Calm down.”

Doris fanned her face, which was an alarming shade of red. “Can we just get out of here before I see another… naked man?” she finished in a whisper.

“Yes. Let’s go. Everyone back to Bertha.” I slung an arm around her shoulder, guiding her toward the office, the three of us still laughing as we walked. “Well, I guess this being a nudist colony explains the no-photography rule.”

We pushed back through the door, hurried through the office while yelling our thanks to the woman at the desk, who called after us, “You come back anytime!” Then we burst out into the parking lot and piled into Bertha, even Doris laughing with us now.

Marge had the engine running before everyone was fully seated. She pulled out of the lot and back toward the highway. We laughed harder as we hit potholes that tossed us into the air as we fled for our lives.

As we left, Marge erupted in hysterics and pointed to a sign on our right that said, “You Must Be Dressed Beyond This Point.” As we rolled back to the highway, laughter kept coming in waves—one of us would almost stop and then someone would giggle and it would start all over again.

Finally, I wiped my eyes properly and took a long, full breath.

This. This was what we needed.

Laughter. Adventure.

Each other.

“Captain?” Marge said. “Where to next?”

I put my Viking hat back on and settled in.

“Just keep driving south and we’ll see where the road leads.”

Chapter Five

“Where does the water come from?” Doris pushed the faucet up and down, amazed that water came out. “We’re not hooked up to anything way out here in the woods.”

“Fresh water tank.” Marge squished up against her to help scrub the dirty dishes from dinner. “Bertha is luxury all the way. We just have to get topped off in a couple days so we don’t run out.”

I had to admit, Marge had done well.

From choosing the RV, which really did have far more luxury than I’d ever imagined one could find on wheels, down to the beautiful little campsite she’d rented us tucked back from the main road in a small clearing ringed by pine trees.

It was so quiet. So peaceful.

No traffic, no neighbors, just the occasional bird and the soft creak of trees swaying in the breeze.