Page 11 of No Bones About It

They all laugh. Dawn says, “Kind of like a sorority, but far older. We have chapters across tons of colleges and universities.”

“All across the world,” Frankie chimes in.

A third girl looks back and says, “Hi Tori! I’m Never. We work to protect all things spooky. Cryptids, Halloween, paranormal activity sites. If it’s spooky, it's on our radar.”

“All the cute things have societies and laws to look out for them. We’re like a team for the underdogs,” Dawn says. “Lore says we are descended from the Order of the Dragon.”

“Wait, like Dracula?” I ask, fascinated.

She laughs with a nod. “One and the same. We’ve been around a long time. Only the name has changed over the years.”

And just like that, we’re here. The crowd is on the sidewalks, peacefully assembled, holding their signs and chatting amongst themselves.

Flashing lights cut through the falling dark as a police car pulls up in front of the single-story building. The term clubhouse is generous for a building smaller than my house. More than anything it serves as a place for the HOA to gossip and pretend it’s their ivory tower.

The car double parks, and two uniformed officers get out.

Dawn waves at them and says, “Evening officers.”

They approach her, arms crossed, staring down at her small frame.

She runs a hand through her wild blonde locks and smiles at them with her black painted lips. “What can we do for you?”

“We got a call about someone disturbing the peace,” the older one says.

“Disturbing?” she repeats. “We are gathered here in support of Tori against the tyrannical and unjust HOA of Autumn Acres. Every person here right now is peaceful and standing on the sidewalk, which is public property. We are merely exercising our first amendment right to free speech and assembly."

The younger one looks over at Frankie, who has her phone out and is filming. “Ma’am, you can’t film this.”

Dawn gives him a saccharine smile. Voice dripping with honey she says, “Actually, anyone on public property can be filmed at any time. Again, first amendment. You cannot trespass the eyes.”

“No, you can’t,” the older one says again, voice darker.

Dawn sighs and drops the smile. “Look officers, I’m going to level with you. No one here is breaking the law. No one here will be breaking the law. I’m not only a pre-law student who is extremely well-versed in this area, but my father is also the state Attorney General, Clifford James. Just like his daddy, and his daddy before him.”

She takes a step forward and whispers conspiratorially behind her hand, “And guess who’s going to be the next one? Spoiler alert, you’re looking at her.”

She leans closer, peering at their badges in turn. “And before you threaten to arrest me on some nonsense charge, I need you to know that I’ve been falsely arrested no less than twenty times and have won no less than twenty lawsuits against various precincts for wrongful arrests.”

She flips her long blond curls over her shoulder and then continues. “If you choose to violate my constitutional rights, you will lose your qualified immunity and neither your union, nor your department, will be able to protect you against the lawsuit that I will file against you personally. So, do you really want to risk your careers over a twelve-foot skeleton protest, or are we good here?”

They look at each other and beat a hasty retreat back to their car and pull away. I watch the flashing lights fade away into the night, then turn to look back at Dawn who has a shit-eating grin plastered across her face.

Frankie elbows her and says, “Geez, Dawn, you really get off on having them pissing their pants.”

Never says, “Remember the time she said, ‘I’m your huckleberry’ when we were defending that western themed ghost town from getting demolished?”

We all laugh, then Dawn sobers and looks at me. “It’s time. Spooky bitches, let’s go.”

They start walking in, but Dawn spins and takes me by the shoulders. She’s a force of nature for being such a tiny thing. Face serious, she looks me in the eyes and says, “Tori, you got this.”

“I hope so,” I sigh.

She gives me a gentle shake and says, “Listen, I can speak legalese because I cut my teeth on it. But I’m going to win every time anyway, because I just know things. I always have. And I can see the ending here. It might not be exactly what you think, but trust me, it's going to be amazing.”

“Thanks, Dawn,” I say, and mean it. I really hope she’s right.

She loops her arm through mine, pulls me down the walk, and through the door into the harsh fluorescent lights.