Page 87 of Make it a Double

The image of Beckett in that stupid cowboy hat came to mind as my fingers trailed along my skin. The water lapped at the edge of the tub as I lay one palm flat on my chest and the other on my lower belly.

I didn’t want it to become a wardrobe staple, but the thought of him bringing it out every now and then had my thighs clenching. I rubbed them together, searching for friction. It wasn’t enough, but it was all I had. My stomach was so big now that I struggled to reach my clit without a vibrator. It wasn’t like I carried one in my purse, so I was shit out of luck.

It was sheer desperation that had me running my fingertips toward my nipple, circling once, twice, three times before moving on to the next. It felt so good. Especially as my fingers turned into Beckett’s in my mind. How he would watch me with such quiet intensity as my breathing quickened and I pleaded for more.

And then his hands would glide over my skin, across my belly, and then lower to the one place I needed them most. It was the thought of his fingers dipping inside me that had me losing my mind. “Beckett…” I moaned softly, clenching and rubbing my thighs in hopes it could give me some release. “Touch me.”

Cold air across my nipples drew my attention toward the door, and I froze.

Beckett stood in the doorway, jaw clenched and eyes burning as he unabashedly stared at my body peeking out of the water. The plate in his hand shook ever so slightly.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Beck—”

Beckett cleared his throat, immediately closing his eyes and turning his head away. “I, uh, said your name through the door,” he stammered, thumbing behind him. “But I can tell now… I-I’m sorry.”

“Wait!” I called out, but it was too late. He placed the plate on the bathroom counter and quickly left the room, leaving me in silence. My head fell back against the padded pillow. This was a goddamn disaster. How the hell was I supposed to go back in there with a straight face knowing he saw me grind against my own leg in search of an orgasm? How pathetic was that?

But why did I feel like that? I’d made my intentions and desires known on multiple occasions. It shouldn’t be any surprise at this point. And it wasn’t like he’d never seen me naked before, or what it looked like when I came.

Honestly, the more I thought about it, the madder I got.

With a huff, I pulled myself out of the tub. It was a struggle to do it without Beckett’s help, but I managed. I sure as hell wasn’t going to call him back in here now, even though I knew he would do it without question.

I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my body as best I could. It didn’t quite cover everything, but it worked. It was definitely a far cry better than walking out naked. As it was, I’d have to slip into some of Beckett’s clothes because I hadn’t thought to pack a bag.

I’d only fallen asleep here a handful of times, but it was either outside beneath the stars or on the couch after a movie. We hadn’t slept in that bed together since August. But tonight, whether he joined me or not, I would be slipping between those sheets. They were extremely soft, from what I remembered.

With one hand holding the towel together and the other gripping my plate of snacks, I stepped out of the bathroom. I scanned the room, immediately finding what—or who—I was looking for.

Beckett sat at the edge of his bed, gaze fixed on the wall ahead like it was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen. He made no effort to move, nor did he utter a single word.

Fine. If that was how he wanted our night to go, I’d bite. I could carry on like he wasn’t there, even if the thought of doing so caused an ache to bloom in the center of my chest.

I set the plate down on the nightstand before walking past him toward the dresser. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him run his hand along the stubble gracing his jaw.

And then I dropped the towel.

BECKETT

Out of all the ways I could die, seeing Sawyer’s very naked and very pregnant body fresh out of the bath seemed like the way to go. Water droplets clung to her body, sliding down her neck and across the freckled skin of her chest to her swollen belly. Nothing and no one had ever looked so good before.

It was a dream.

She was a dream.

I hadn’t known what I was walking into when I stepped foot inside my bathroom. I called out to her from the top of the steps, and assumed she heard me when she said my name. The moment I’d opened the door, she moaned for me to touch her, and I’d lost all sense of being. It’d taken everything I had, every ounce of self-restraint I possessed, not to give her what she asked for.

I’d fucked my hand to the thought of touching her again nearly every night this week, but I couldn’t bring myself to go further when we were together. Her body was easy to read. I knew exactly how eager she was for us to explore each other again, but I was nervous about her blood pressure.

Sex had come with a warning to be careful. I’d done plenty of research on gestational hypertension after she was diagnosed. Everyone was different, but there was a genuine concern about the added strain on her body. I couldn’t live with myself if our own selfish desires had dire consequences.

That was all I could think about when Sawyer pleaded for more. I knew I should talk to her about how I was feeling, but I worried she would take it as an excuse not to go there with her again. I’d seen the way she’d stared in mirrors when she passed. How her nose would do this little scrunch as she tried to stretch her shirt more. She hated fabric that clung to her body, saying it made her feel more exposed than being naked ever did.

I wished she could see herself through my eyes. Maybe then she’d realize just how beautiful and perfect she was.

Seeing her in that tub, playing with those dusty nipples and grinding her legs together, had been far too much for me to take. The space was too small, shrinking by the second. I had to get out of there before I did something stupid.