Page 3 of Dear Daddy, Please Want Me

He reached out and shook his hand. “Well, Levi, let me be the first to say… Welcome to the team.”

Levi’s eyes blinked and then widened. “Really? I got the job?”

“Yep. Nikhil and I both agree that you’re the best fit for the position and Christy recommends you highly. Nikhil will follow up with a formal offer, but if you want the job, it’s yours.”

Levi bobbed his shoulders in a cute little dance. It was another thing that might have looked silly on his large frame and formal attire, but instead he just looked happy and free.

Their hands were still clasped together. Maybe Levi had forgotten but Saul definitely hadn’t. It felt like all his senses were focused on that warm stretch of skin.

“Thank you so much. Nikhil seems great, and I’ve heard good things about the team I’ll be managing. And of course I’m looking forward to working with you, Sarah.”

The two syllables crashed through him like ice water. Like the whole frozen surface of the lake had just split apart and dragged him down to its bitter depths.

He jerked his hand back, bracing against the table. He knew he needed to get a handle on it, but he needed a moment. He drew in a deep breath and let it out.

When he thought he could manage it, he looked at his newest employee. This wasn’t at all how he wanted to have this conversation. He’d meant to have it at the beginning of the interview, during the introductions. Or better yet, to have Nikhil bring it up, though he’d only told him yesterday.

Alright, he could do this.

“I’m actually going by Saul now. He/him pronouns.”

He held his breath, waiting for a response. Coming out as trans to his exec team had been nerve racking but fine. They’d all kind of nodded, like it was expected, and gone on with their days. Coming out to the whole company was going to be relegated to a PowerPoint slide, which was just how he wanted it. It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal.

But for some reason, coming out to a new hire, especially one who he’d maybe imagined kissing a moment ago, seemed overwhelming. He hadn’t prepared himself for this.

“Oh! Sorry about that,” Levi responded easily. “I just assumed from your email, but that makes much more sense.” He nodded his head like somehow it did make much more sense.

Saul let out a relieved sigh. “It’s, um, new. I’ve been using the name for about a year with friends, but I’m announcing it to the rest of the office today.”

That was what the big meeting was about. He only wanted to say it once, then preferably not discuss it again. It was just very… personal to talk about at work. He knew that almost everyone would take it in stride. If they didn’t, his exec team would be more than capable of handling it, and Javier in HR would send around an email with some etiquette stuff for anyone who needed it.

But it had still kept him from sleeping for a week. In fact, the only time he’d really stopped talking about it was over the past hour when Levi distracted him.

“Well, congratulations, Saul!” Levi beamed. “I feel like I’m here for your birthday or something. Like, your first anniversary. No, that doesn’t make sense. But next year you could call it your manniversary. Does anyone ever say that?”

“I have no idea.”

“Well, then, let me be the first to congratulate you on your zeroth manniversary. I’m excited to be here for it.”

“Uh, thanks.” Saul wasn’t quite sure how he felt but… much, much better than a moment ago.

“What’s your middle name?”

And just like that, they were back to having a regular discussion.

“I actually haven’t chosen one yet. My mother helped me decide on Saul. My father suggested that I take a name from my grandfather who passed last year but… his name was Eliyahu.”

Levi cracked up. “Good Jewish name. You should keep it.” He started to sing in a rich baritone and a dour expression. “Eliyahu hanavi, Eliyahu hatishbi!”

Saul only half-remembered the song from the end-of-Shabbat Havdalah services at Torah school. He knew it was about Elisha the prophet predicting the near arrival of a messiah who still hadn’t turned up 3,000 years later, but that was about as far as he got. The tune was half dirge, half military triumph, a combination which he was certain only the Jews could pull off.

“You’re one to talk, Levi Cohen.”

“I know. My middle name is actually Moishe. No joke.”

“Seriously? Yeah, so… Saul’s enough for me in that department.”

Levi cocked his head to the side. “I think the Latinate form of that name is Elias, if that helps. I always thought that was a sexy name. I mean, not that Eliyahu isn’t sexy.”