Page 108 of Love Lessons: Expanded Edition

What if they never reached that point?

It left Landon feeling unmoored.

This was exactly what he’d worried about before getting involved. It was what happened when you let yourself rely on someone and then it didn’t work out.

Before Dustin he’d had his own center.

Now he felt like he couldn’t find the ground to place his feet on.

It left him acting sullen around Dustin sometimes, and he hated doing it. He wasn’t trying to be disobedient, even though it brought dark, delicious thoughts to mind.

He was also worried that after putting all of this time into getting to know each other, that they wouldn’t actually be compatible with their kinks.

Like, how the hell were either of them supposed to know what they were into? Dustin was a newbie and even though that short age play scene had felt like coming home for Landon, it didn’t mean that it would keep working for either of them.

In his darkest moments, he debated calling everything off.

But that was stupid. Everyone said that relationships needed work.

He was just working so goddamn hard at it.

What if it wasn’t worth it, though? What if they got back to being kinky and Dustin broke up with him anyway? He’d thought getting dumped had sucked in college, but this would be so much worse.

On top of that, he was a little worried about losing Zhong and Ash if they broke up. How shitty was that? At least Ash should have been his friend first, but since Ash was spending so much time with Zhong, he could lose both of them.

So he’d been throwing himself into his job, volunteering a little bit more. It always kept his mind occupied. When he was with his students or getting something accomplished, like tonight, he didn’t let anything else in.

It was just times like these, when he was driving home late at night, that it started to seep back in.

Landon watched the light turn from yellow to red in front of him and pulled to a screeching halt. He’d been so deep in thought that he’d almost missed it.

The streets were deserted, but his heart was still pounding.

The long day, the worries over the school district, and his fears about Dustin were all catching up to him. That restless, irritable feeling was welling up inside, but couldn’t quite figure out what to do.

He really wanted to be with Dustin right now.

It wouldn’t quite be kinky, but Dustin would fuss over him and hold him in his arms while they fell asleep. They could go running in the morning. And Dustin would make him breakfast.

He really, really wanted that.

He thought about texting Ash for advice. He knew what Ash would say, though.

So he pulled onto the next side street and parked at the curb.

Landon: Can I come over tonight?

He waited anxiously. There was no response for a minute, then he watched the dots bubble up.

Dustin: I would love that.

Landon: It’s not too late?

He needed to be sure. He didn’t want to be a bother.

Dustin: It’s never too late. Come over anytime you want.

Dustin: I would love to see you.

Landon: OK. See you in twenty.

Landon let his eyes drift shut in relief. Maybe he could at least ask Dustin for an end date on the vanilla thing or something.

He would do it as soon as this stupid meeting with the district was over.

Right now he had enough to worry about.

And at least tonight Dustin would hold him close.