Page 40 of Love Lessons: Expanded Edition

He pulled back just far enough to sign, his thigh still between hers. If I go home with you, you’re going to follow the rules.

He didn’t quite know where this was coming from, this newfound confidence and power and ownership. It was a gamble. It was also the only way that he thought she’d let him in. If he had to make it sexual and kinky to connect with her, he would.

And God, did it feel good.

He glared down at her. It didn’t take much effort. He was still annoyed that she’d blown him off all month. He was, surprisingly, even more annoyed with her for not letting people get close, for not taking care of herself.

Her heavy breaths and needy eyes told him that his scowl was exactly what she wanted though.

So he gave some commands. It was both the easiest and hardest thing that he’d ever done, and he had no idea if he was getting it right. If we do this, I’m going home with you now. We’re going to spend the day together. If you have plans, you can cancel them, or I’ll go with you. Got it?

Lena shook her head slowly, eyes unfocused, and then nodded. He narrowed his eyes.

Yes. I agree, but I don’t understand. She truly looked puzzled. There was no mask. Just a sort of wary hope.

No more avoiding me. Also, you are going to go over your calendar with me. We’re not getting engaged or anything, but if we’re going to do this, I expect to see you sometimes when we’re not at the munch. Understand?

She thrust out her chin, almost defiant now. But she agreed anyway. I understand.

Good. Because we’re not going to wait a month next time. Even if we’re friends with benefits, we’re going to at least be friends. And I’m taking you out somewhere. You can call it hanging out or you can call it a date, but we’re going to spend at least one evening together where we don’t have sex. Because that’s what I can offer. Take it or leave it. Do you think you can do that?

Those beautiful gray eyes grew stormy and Dustin wondered if he’d pushed too far. But was it really too much to want to spend a few evenings together? To be friends with someone you were doing something so intimate with, even if it was only for lessons?

Lena searched his face, almost confused. He wanted to comfort her, but he wasn’t going to let her out of this. OK, fine, she finally signed.

He pressed against her then, rewarding her and giving himself what he wanted. He kissed her deeply, angling her head and thrusting his tongue into her mouth until she was panting. He could feel how hard she was against his thigh, and he rubbed against the flowing fabric of her dress just to hear her moan.

God, it was tantalizing, knowing that just that thin scrap of fabric lay between them.

Then he stepped back. Thank you for agreeing to that, he said simply. Where’s your car?

She led him over to her vehicle and he made a show of opening her door and fastening her seatbelt. He leaned over to add one more thing. Don’t forget, you still owe me for cancelling on me. I’m going to follow you home, and then you have a lesson coming to you.

He closed her door and made himself walk over to his own car. Now that he wasn’t commanding Lena, his thoughts tumbled over one another.

Was he doing the wrong thing? He couldn’t tell if he was pushing her too hard or stepping in where she needed someone. Was she just humoring him, or did she want this, too?

It didn’t help that Dustin didn’t know what he wanted himself. He was telling himself that he wanted the basic decency of a returned text message and the familiarity of a minimal friendship to underlie what was otherwise going to be a series of educational, but extremely vulnerable, encounters.

He also wanted to devour her. To break her down and build her up and hold her close. It was like she’d unleashed some torrent inside him.

The kink was definitely a part of it. A huge part of it. The knowledge that she wanted someone to make her hurt and cry. The way that she’d snuggled into his arms last time, almost against her will. The thought that she might want exactly what he had to give.

He still didn’t want to get his hopes up for anything more. She’d set her own limits pretty plainly, and this was just a negotiation for a little bit more.

He got into the car, taking a moment to start the engine.

It didn’t help that he was still so new to everything. He was working on instinct, doing what he’d wanted to do in every past relationship when he had been told that he was too overbearing.

This had been sexy as hell. Mind blowing.

He hoped Lena thought so, too. He knew from his reading that there were people who took their D/s relationships into the rest of their lives. But it seemed like there were a lot more who wanted it contained to the occasional scene. With Lena, he felt like this new, eager part of himself was just spilling out all over the place.

And if he guessed incorrectly here, he felt like he might be making an even bigger mistake than he’d made with Alan. He couldn’t bear realizing that he’d hurt his ex’s body without meaning to, but he got the sense that if he messed things up with Lena, he’d be hurting something much deeper.

It didn’t escape his notice that it took Lena a long time to leave the parking lot, too.