Page 41 of Love Lessons: Expanded Edition

Chapter 7

Lena

Lena drove toward her house, barely noticing as she turned down familiar streets. Her mind was spinning, and she wished the drive were longer.

Nothing made any sense with Dustin. It was hot as fuck, of course, when he got all demanding and stern. And the way that he’d pinned her to the car, with his intentions and not a single touch, still had her out of her mind in need.

But what did he want? Everyone else was fine with hook-ups, and her previous training sessions had never felt like this. People probably don’t like being cancelled on, obviously, but she’d never had anyone demand that she have dinner with them.

She felt nervous and jittery now. The little commands, like looking over her calendar and spending an evening together, made her feel safe and wanted when he’d said it. But now that she had a little bit of space, it felt like the floor was falling out from underneath her. Could she trust it?

And what did it all mean?

He’d ripped away her plan of giving him lessons, and it was both nourishing to be wanted so much and scary for the same reason. He’d said before that he didn’t want a one-night stand, but what could he realistically want instead?

Could he actually want to date? They hardly knew each other. Though she found that she’d been storing up every detail about him. He designed software. He managed a few employees. He liked his job and hung out a lot with his best friend, who seemed to come up in conversation all the time. He liked to bake.

Lena was still pretending that she hadn’t savored every bite of those muffins, imagining that he’d made them just for her. It was adorable. Not at all Dom-like. At least not for most Doms.

It was more like a… boyfriend thing to do. Which was silly because he didn’t know her at all. And once he did, he’d probably lose interest quickly. That was what always happened with men.

Yet she could still feel the faint touch of his hands when he’d guided her into the car and then leaned across her to buckle her safety belt. It was such a surprisingly intimate gesture. Like he was controlling, but only because he wanted to keep her safe. What had that been all about? And why did she like it so much?

And then the punishment he said he owed her… Would he spank her? It seemed unlikely that he would use the crop, since he’d clearly been worried about it last time. He could use some other form of delightful pain. Or he could make her stand in a corner or something a bit more Domestic Discipline.

That made her realize something. She’d never actually been punished before. Of course, obviously, she’d done scenes that started with some premise of “you’ve been naughty,” but it was always in play. They were consequences without any action preceding them.

Somehow, this seemed like it would be a real punishment. Like it would mean something.

And did she want that? It sounded sexy, but also nerve wracking. She didn’t like the idea of being in real trouble or disappointing him. Yet some part of her secretly hoped that she was important enough to him to really punish.

Why couldn’t Dustin ever follow the script?

She found herself turning onto her own street with only a faint memory of the drive over. Parking was easy on the weekends and she pulled into a spot just in front of her building. Now what was she supposed to do?

She watched Dustin pull up and neatly parallel park just two cars in front of her. She felt like everything was spinning out of control. Should she try to rush upstairs so that she could buzz him up? Walk over to his car?

Her indecision ultimately made the choice for her. She startled when her door opened, and then he was there, leaning over her and unfastening her seatbelt. Thank you for waiting for me, he said. Like they’d agreed on this or something. Like he did it every day.

She got that squirmy, hot feeling again. It made her feel needy and small. His hair fell over his forehead and she wanted to touch it. She wanted him to touch her, too.

He offered her a hand and she took it, using it as leverage as she stepped out of the car. And then he hooked her hand into the crook of his arm, like he was some old-fashioned gentleman escorting a lady. There was that feeling again of not just being dominated, but treasured.

She leaned on him perhaps a little more heavily than she needed to, trusting him to guide her while her mind spun. This whole thing was weird and perfect and baffling all at the same time.

It helped that he hadn’t even blinked when she introduced herself as Lena. He’d certainly stared, though, following her with hungry eyes when she moved. She’d expected it to be… well, she wasn’t sure what she had expected. More questions, maybe, about herself or gender fluidity in general. If not outright rejection.

But he’d just gone with the flow, accepting her identity, visibly appreciating it, and now making these cute but perplexing little gestures to affirm that identity like offering her his arm.

She wondered if Dustin would buckle her seatbelt when she was Landon, too. And then she remembered that this was just some text messages, dinner, and hopefully as many scenes as he was willing to give her.

She wouldn’t let herself imagine this was anything else. He was experimenting. Maybe he’d find out that he wanted a Total Power Exchange relationship, which was definitely too much for her. That was probably all it was.

She unlocked the door to her building, and he shifted his hand to the small of her back, where it stayed all through the elevator ride and into her apartment.

Once inside, Lena looked at him anxiously. He seemed so confident, far from the nervous new Dom she’d invited over last month.

He settled onto her couch. Like last month, he was wearing a button-down shirt and dark jeans, hitting that alluring combination of power and relaxation, like his control was effortless. This time, the shirt was a charcoal gray and it looked softer. His hair was just a bit too long, and she wanted to touch it.