Page 97 of All Tied Up

Jamie sighed. “I’ve considered it. Daddy and I have been really happy together these past few years. But we’ve also been monogamous except for short scenes. Otherwise, I apparently get jealous. I mean… it’s a lot to ask of someone, sharing a Daddy.”

He was about to interrupt, but Jamie was still going. “And it makes sense. I mean, after Henri, I started noticing something. When we hooked up with other subs, it was pretty clear they were mostly using me as a path to get to Daddy and I was some fun on the side. I get it though. If you’re submissive, you want a Dom, not another sub.”

Neil burned with fury, but it definitely made a lot of other things click into place. Not just Jamie’s surprise that Neil wanted to be around him, but also the way that all of Jamie’s flirting seemed to be about his Daddy instead of himself. “Henri’s an ass if he can’t see how wonderful you are. And the other subs were missing out, too.”

“Thanks,” Jamie said blandly.

“No, I mean it. You’re colorful and courageous and talented in so many ways. You’re funny and bold and so sexy I still don’t even know why you look at me twice. But you’re also... I can see that you like taking care of someone, too. Not as a Daddy, but… You’re a sweet, caring person. Henri is just an idiot.”

Jamie chuckled. “That was a very impassioned speech.”

“You don’t believe me, do you?”

Jamie sighed, finally looking at Neil. Really looking at him. “I believe you’re saying what you see right now. But let’s be honest. You didn’t come here looking for a Daddy who already had a boy. You came here looking for a Daddy. You want someone to give you all of his attention. You said it yourself.”

Neil was starting to see just how deeply Henri had hurt Jamie. It wasn’t something that had left when Henri did, but a lingering cage around his mind and happiness.

He wasn’t sure how much it was his place to pry, but he also hated to see Jamie so miserable. He was such a bright, confident presence most of the time, seeing his insecurities was almost a surprise.

“Jamie, I’m far from the expert on poly relationships. But I imagine there are other Daddies with two boys, right? Two boys who care about and respect each other?” That’s what every moment had felt like since Neil set foot in the lodge. “Jealous and possessive doesn’t sound like who you are.”

“I didn’t think so. But it turned out that way. Jealously feels awful.”

Neil still wasn’t convinced. “And you don’t think that was maybe Henri’s influence?”

“I mean, it takes two, or in this case three, to make the relationship. There are always interactions and compromises.”

Neil didn’t like the way that sounded. “Did you and Sebastian make most of the compromises, though?”

Jamie made a face. “Probably. I mean, actually, yes. But Henri didn’t enjoy working on the lodge like we did.”

“And when Henri compromised for you two was it… difficult?”

“God, you don’t know the half of it.”

“So you and Sebastian… stopped doing some of the things that you enjoyed to keep him happy?”

“Yeah. We stopped doing a lot of things. I mean, it hurt when he left, but it was exciting to do a lot of things again. It’s just… I didn’t mind giving them up at the time. It just hurt that it was never enough. That’s why we don’t do poly anymore.”

Neil hesitated before bringing anything else up. Was it his place? He finally decided that if he only got to spend a few more hours with Jamie, he at least wanted to share what he’d been thinking, in case it could help him. “Jamie, I wasn’t there or anything but… everything you’re describing sounds like an abusive relationship.”

Jamie gave him a skeptical look. “Really? I mean, he was the sub. And it’s not like he forbid us from doing anything.”

Neil sighed. “I’m not a psychologist or anything. Most of my knowledge is from my mother, though, who was a couples therapist. So maybe take this with a grain of salt. But there are a lot of ways that people can control a relationship. Maybe by withholding affection. Or dismissing and belittling someone until they don’t feel worthwhile. Maybe by emotionally punishing someone when they don’t get their way. Sometimes it can be really insidious, like taking legitimate concerns from a partner and pretending to take them seriously, then turning it around so it seems like the partner’s fault.”

Jamie looked like he was really thinking. One of those must have struck a chord. Maybe more than one.

“The thing I’ve noticed,” Neil continued, “is that Sebastian winces or freezes up every time he thinks about Henri. His muscles all clench like he’s going to be hit.”

Jamie drew back. “He does? I mean, Henri definitely never hit anyone. Our relationship had impact play, but Daddy was the one doing it.”

Neil tried to keep his voice calm and supportive, hoping he could do this half as well as his mother. “A lot of intimate partner violence isn’t physical. It just seems like Sebastian is walking on eggshells sometimes, like he’s afraid to mess up. But only about certain things related to Henri. That doesn’t seem like his personality. It’s the same thing with you, I think. I actually believe that you’re not innately jealous, and that you have plenty of affection for more than one partner. It sounds like Henri manipulated both of you, and then told you that you were jealous enough times that you believed it.”

Jamie’s lips moved too quietly for Neil to hear, like he was replaying a conversation or making sense of it.

Neil didn’t rush him. He hadn’t really meant to get into this, but now that he had, he wasn’t going to push. Neil pulled Jamie closer, until he was practically on his lap, other guests and their children be damned. They could handle seeing some gay cuddling if it meant that Neil got to hold Jamie tight.

Jamie snuggled into his chest and Neil dropped kisses into his hair. He hadn’t expected this role at all when he went out looking for a partner, expecting that he’d be the one being coddled and kissed.