Page 30 of The History in Us

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” I whispered, inhaling the masculine clean scent of him.

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you,” Levi exhaled, his breath brushing over my lips. “I’m not a good idea. You should stay away. That’s my hint.” His tone was seductive, but the words were a dose of reality.

My brow pinched, and I sat back abruptly, not realizing how much distance we had closed between us. My thoughts fluttered back to when I was seventeen and bold and stepped into his space to kiss him. But an older, wiser me didn’t think I should draw near the Levi Walker before me. I didn’t think there was the remotest possibility of getting close to this new Levi. His words interrupted my thoughts.

“But then you look at me all innocent and sweet, and you have no idea the things I want to do to you. And I can’t help thinking I don’t want you to stay away.” I inhaled sharply as my thighs clenched and the awakening of an area long repressed sprang to life with a heavy beat. For a man not in touch with his emotions, he didn’t stop there.

“I shouldn’t want you. Everything I touch turns to ash.Touch.” He grabbed my hand and roughly linked his fingers with mine. “Everything I touch, not feel. My feelings...pfft…” He sat back in his seat, releasing my hand and facing his open laptop. “I’ve trained myself not to feel.” His voice lowered at the statement.

My blood instantly turned cold, and I shivered at his tone. My tongue was too heavy to respond. He’d made his point. I shouldn’t be attracted to such a complicated man, anyway. I was too simple for him. There was nothing I had that could help him. I reached for my bag, hitching it up over my shoulder and stood for the door. He stood abruptly as well. I stepped left to round the table, but he countered me, circling the table in the opposite direction before blocking my exit from the enclosed space. Reaching for my shoulders, he spun me so we hid behind the door, just out of sight of the side window to the library.

“But I felt something the other night. With that kiss. And I want to feel it again, even though you’re too good for me.” His mouth firm, a hand slipped upward to caress my neck. His thumb rolled over the warm skin of my throat and locked under my chin. With no smile intact, his eyes danced instead. A pulse leapt through my body, threatening to beat loudly enough for him to hear. My thighs clenched again, and I let my bag strap slip from my shoulder.

“I’m not going to apologize, Katie. That kiss is more than I’ve felt in a year. It shouldn’t have happened the way it did, but I won’t ask forgiveness for taking it.”

I swallowed at his words. I didn’t want his apology and I wouldn’t forgive him. He took nothing from me that I didn’t give willingly once he pressed against me. I might have given him more, but he was unobtainable. I could see it in his cold glare. His set jaw. It was his warning smile. The devilish clench that saidstay back. I recognized the movement. My father had worn it well when I was a child.

We stared at one another for a moment, eyes dancing with one another as our breaths hitched. The slightest scrape of my breasts against his chest set my nipples to pebble, and I envisioned his hands on more than my neck. His lips on more than my mouth. But the thought only lasted a beat before he released me and his head came forward to rest on mine. I closed my eyes and inhaled his scent—manly, warm, tortured.

“I remember you,” he whispered.

My eyes flung open, but he stood too close. I couldn’t focus on any one feature, so I let them drift to where his body pressed against mine. That was a mistake as the thought of him joining me set my belly to flutters, and the rhythm between my thighs increased its drumming.

“You still waiting for a hero?”

“Yes.” I exhaled breathily.

“Well, I ain’t one.” He pulled back only a hair’s breadth and held my eyes. “I’ve never saved anyone.” His tone turned bitter.

“I don’tneeda hero for saving.” My voice choked on the words, coming out small and hushed. “I can stand on my own.” There was determination behind the truth, but my tone weakly mocked me.

“You still want one, though, and it can’t be me.”

“You know nothing about me,” I snipped, the sound of my voice still quiet despite my growing irritation.

“You’re right. I don’t. And I shouldn’t want to. I’ve got too much going on, and I shouldn’t be thinking of you.”

“Then don’t,” I barked, sensing him dismissing me. My hands pressed on his chest.

“But I can’t help myself. That kiss, Katie. All I want is...” His mouth crushed mine, his fingers weaving into my hair. It was a kiss different from all the others. No longer a drunken experiment. Not a test of my will, either. This was something more than I could describe. He drank me in like he thirsted for me, tipping my head so his mouth covered mine and he possessed me. His hips pressed forward, pinning me to the wall at my back. His hands delved so deep in my hair, he cupped the back of my neck. And his mouth, his mouth took such liberty in separating my lips with his tongue, inviting himself inside to play, coaxing me to give in to him. My hands gripped his biceps, feeling the bulge of his strength through his shirt while my lower abdomen recognized the hard length of him elsewhere. My hips bucked forward for a friction I craved, and my mouth responded in kind to his encouragements. I tangled his tongue with mine, hoping to draw him into me.

A harsh knock on the wood at my side made us both jump.

“Are you almost finished in there?” An angry librarian’s voice streamed through the thick door. Our heavy breathing masked any attempt to respond, but I watched Levi swallow as he gathered his words.

“I’m done.” His eyes didn’t leave mine when he spoke, and I sensed he meant more than the use of the room.