Page 58 of After Care

“Well, then, that’s why I’m here. Fun,” he stated adamantly, and cupped my cheeks to press my face up to his. His mouth covered mine, sweet and slow and heartbreakingly tender as he lapped up the salty tears on my lips and drank up my sobs with his tongue. We stood several minutes kissing like this, and I clutched his T-shirt in my fists, holding on to him like my life depended on it. In many ways, I felt I hadn’t lived until I met him, which meant my life had just begun, and now it was about to end. How was that for timing?

+ + +

We returned home to blustery, negative degree temperatures and the start of a new year. Masie would finish her senior year of high school in a few short months. Caleb would leave for spring training in Iowa for the farm team of a Chicago MLB team. David was pleased by the Midwest proximity, but spring training would take place in Arizona. To my surprise, he cashed in frequent flyer miles so Masie and I could attend a weekend of games during her spring break. He even gave up hotel points to cover the stay. After the trip to Hawaii, I couldn’t afford another vacation, so I didn’t turn down the unexpected gift in order to see my son on the verge of the major leagues.

I’d held Masie’s hand through most of the return flight. Her tears matched my previous ones, silent and steady. I had nothing left after Tommy let me finish packing. We decided to part ways in the condo instead of risking a repeat of my meltdown by the car in the parking lot. However, he didn’t keep his promise and stood next to the Jeep before we departed. He shook hands with Caleb, thanking him for his permission to take me out a few times. He hugged Masie, whispering into her hair as she nodded against him. My heart broke further at his tenderness toward my children. When he hugged me one more time, I thought I’d break in two.

“I—” he started, but I cut him off.

“I’m sorry,” I blurted. He pulled back to look at me. “Family always says sorry, and I’m apologizing for that break down up there. We promised to keep things fun and light and I messed it up.” I shook my head and tried to laugh off my ridiculous behavior. He smiled slowly.

“Family loves unconditionally,” he whispered, and my lips curled in response. His eyes searched mine but I didn’t know what he was looking for. My mind was a jumble, and an ache had developed from all the tears. I just wanted to close my eyes and return home, knowing I’d feel as if I’d been in a dream—Dorothy returned to Kansas, a world of color restored to black and white.

When the Uber dropped us off at my townhouse on the edge of Chicago, I sighed as I turned the key. Home was sweet, but Hawaii was sweeter. Instantly, I felt rappelled to the old me. Turning up the thermostat, telling Masie to call her father, searching through the mail, I’d slipped back to who I’d been, as if I’d never left.

An hour later, I noticed a text.

Miss you already, beautiful.

I smiled to myself.

Just got home. Tired. Miss you, too. XO, I typed.

Get some rest. Talk soon.

Minutes later, my phone rang.

“Hello.” I laughed after checking the caller ID and answering.

“Too soon?” The rough voice of Tommy filled my ear, and my heart leapt.

“Perfect timing,” I replied.

“That’s what I like to hear, darlin’.” Silence followed, and I continued smiling knowing he was on the other side of the phone. “So, I’m not great at this phone thing,” he began. “But I wanted to hear your voice.”

“It’s okay. I’m happy to hear yours, too, but I’m tired. I need to work tomorrow.” I should have taken another day off, but I told myself I’d make it through one day before another weekend started.

“Okay, beautiful. We fly out early, but I’ll text you later in the day. Have a good one tomorrow.”

I told him the same, and we hung up. The room suddenly felt empty, filled with silence. How was I going to make it through each day?

+ + +

I didn’t have time to ponder that question as the alarm went off too early. I prepared for work in a fog of jet lag. Returning to Hartcore Manufacturing after a ten-day reprieve was like walking into a waterfall. The work rained down on me, and my boss, Maximillian Hartcore, jokingly told me I was never allowed to leave again. Only, a serious tone underlaid his tease, and for the first time ever I noticed my boss looking at me. Thinking I had food on my face or spilt something on my dress, I swiped at my lips and brushed down the middle of my outfit.

“You look different,” Max said, his eyes roaming my body. My boss was only a few years younger than me. Handsome in his own right, his hair had begun to speckle with gray, but his clean-shaved face remained salt-and-pepper free. His eyes were a pretty, piercing blue, and his smile was more of a smirk. I noticed he was actually rather attractive. Something I was aware of before, but suddenly more aware of.

He’d known David for years, as my ex-husband had been his business accountant. They weren’t really friends, but professional acquaintances. When I wanted a new job around the time of the divorce, and needed special consideration during my treatments, David had done a decent thing and suggested the position with Max. I owed Max for his generous gift of the vacation.

“Seems a little sunshine agrees with you.” My skin pebbled with the appraising look he was giving me.

I had sex. It was as if he could read it on my skin and was curious to keep reading.

“Thank you. The vacation was wonderful. My kids and I really appreciated the time together.” The mention of my children seemed to snap him out of his leering stupor, and he looked away.

“Right. Well, if you need anything else, you know to ask.” His head remained lowered as if the report before him was the most important paper of his life. “But on that note, could I ask you to stay a little longer today? I’d like to get organized for next week. It’s been a shit show without you.”

I smiled in spite of myself. It was nice to be needed, and I agreed to stay. I’d gone through the holiday mail, organized emails by priority, and made a list of a few things I thought should be first on his schedule for the next week. Entering his office around five, he motioned for me to take a seat as he finished a call. His eyes narrowed in on me as he concluded his conversation.