Page 47 of Midlife Crisis

“Paul,” I say as way of greeting. I’m still upset about Elston’s behavior and Paul’s role in it, so I don’t want to talk to him. He eyes the people around me, taking note of their tattoos. Paul is tallish, lanky, and lean. He wears an open denim shirt, a white t-shirt underneath, and a medallion necklace. He looks young, but he’s not as young as he used to be and not as young as his future wife, who sits on a bleacher, ignoring me. We’ve met twice. She’s almost half my age, blonde, tan, and very Californian. He has his work cut out to keep up with her, but that’s her problem, not mine.

“Are you going to introduce me to your friends?” He looks me over and then eyes the men again.

“This is Tommy Carrigan, his wife, Edie, and Hank Paige.” I release Hank’s wrist, and he stands to shake hands with Paul.

“Nice to meet you,” my ex offers, but a question remains in his tight-lipped smile. Why am I with him? Or rather, why is Hank with me?

“You look different,” he says to me, taking in the light purple streak in my hair. I let it bleed out a bit and then had the hairstylist lighten it for my upcoming interview with Pendelton.

“Thanks,” I say although I’m not certain it’s a compliment. An awkward tension grows between us as I have no more to say to my ex-husband. I’m surprised he even walked over to our little party because he doesn’t typically address me at events. It’s better we act civil but not engage in conversation.

“I guess I’ll get back to Melanie.” I wave my fingers, dismissing him, and fall back in my seat the second he walks away.

“Tommy, how about that Bloody Mary?” I glance at Hank who waves at me to proceed.

A few innings into the first game, Ivy arrives with two little girls on either side of a stroller. She spreads another blanket for the girls to take a seat but the youngest immediately plants herself on Tommy’s lap. Her blonde, wild curls tickle his stubbled chin, and he kisses her head. It’s sweet. He’s too young to be a grandpa, but he definitely fits the patriarch role of his family. Within a few minutes, Paul makes his way back to us.

“Hank. Incoming,” Tommy says, and instantly, Hank’s hand is on the back of my neck. I’m not certain what’s happening, but Paul walks with determination and a secret conversation seems had between Hank and Tommy. Hank squeezes my nape.

“I knew it. I knew I recognized you,” Paul states, drawing closer to us. “Hank Paige, drummer of Chrome Teardrops, and Tommy Carrigan, you were Kit’s brother. She was amazing.”

“Thank you,” Ivy interjects. “She was my mother.”

“That’s what Melanie said.” Paul references his young fiancée, and I’m stunned at the revelation, slow to process what’s been said. Hank Paige, drummer of Chrome Teardrops. He loved Tommy’s sister, Ivy’s mother. He loved the lead singer of his band because he was a flipping rock star, and the woman he loved was one, too. I’m ready to jump out of my chair, but Hank’s hand holds firmly, massaging at my neck, pinning me in place.

“Wow, Midge. How did you swing this?” Paul stares at me, and I want to slap him, then I want to slap Hank. I’m turning red with shame at not recognizing him or the connection between them all, and I feel like a fool.

“We met in a bathroom,” Hank interjects. I want to dig a hole in the dirt and bury myself alive in it.

“A what?” Paul gasps.

“Never mind,” I say, sliding forward in my seat, but Hank holds on to me. “I think I need to check in with Liam.” I stand, releasing myself from Hank, and wait for my ex-husband to walk away. Fingers tickle up the back of my thigh and curl into the hem of my jean shorts. Hank tugs, but I can’t look back at him. Paul watches the movement, his eyes widening at Hank’s touch.

“Huh.” He snorts. My mouth opens, and then I clamp my lips. I have no retort for him. I owe him no explanation. In fact, I need a break from all of them. I brush past Paul and head for the chain link fence dugout where Liam rests on the bench, awaiting his turn in the batting order.

“You doing okay, buddy?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Can you keep Dad back? He keeps trying to coach me, and it’s getting on my nerves.” This is a constant issue I have with Paul, running interference at his sideline coaching tactics. He’s concerned for our sons, wanting them to be their best, but he rides the athletes the hardest. Liam’s getting his first taste of things as baseball has become his passion.

“I’ll talk to him.”

I feel Paul’s presence, but I don’t want to address him in front of Liam. I hold my position, keeping my back to him, hoping he’ll walk on by and give me a moment. Instead, I find Edie walking up to me with baby Granger in her arms. I’m grateful for her company as it derails Paul.

“I know how you’re feeling,” she says, jiggling Granger on her hip. He’s almost a year with shocking dark hair and big brown eyes. “I didn’t exactly find out the truth from Tommy, and it stung.”

“Hank has dropped hints, but I just wasn’t putting the whole story together. He’s a flipping rock star, and he loved one.”

“I’ve heard something about that.” Edie jostles Granger, cooing at him a moment as she kisses his little fist. “Here’s the thing. Everywhere they went, they were recognized. Women threw themselves at them because of what they were, not who they are. Tommy once explained to me how he wanted me to know him first, the rock star second. From my understanding, Hank’s pretty far removed from the rock star in him. Maybe he just wanted you to like him as Hank.”

What she says makes sense, but still… “He loved Tommy’s sister. She was…she was huge. Popular. Pretty.” I wave a hand over myself. “Look at me.”

“I think you’re perfect for him.” Edie winks.

“I don’t know how I can compete.”