Page 48 of Midlife Crisis

“Is it a competition? I hate to state the obvious, but she’s dead.”

“She haunts him.” I glance over at Hank, noting him watching me.

“She does?” Edie asks, turning in the same direction a moment.

“He still hurts from her not loving him, and each time we get too close, he presses me back.”

“But he’s here today.” I stare at my new friend. What is she saying? “He came to the play, right? They don’t get involved with the kids unless they want to be with you. I watched Tommy do it with my kids. He didn’t have to. He could have been a one and done with me, which is embarrassing to admit, but he wasn’t.” I note the huge rock on her finger, marking her as his wife.

“I don’t know what to say. I think I need to let this soak in a little bit.”

“I understand, I truly do, but realize that over there sits a man who just wants to be with you.”

20

Take the swing and hope not to miss

[Hank]

Midge sits next to me but feels miles away. My hand covers hers, and she smiles weakly. I have some explaining to do, but now doesn’t seem like the right time.

“Uncle Tommy, take me swinging.” Ivy’s youngest daughter, Emaline, looks like a china doll. With blonde hair and blue eyes, she’s precious as she plays with the medallion necklace around Tommy’s neck. Ava walks over and hugs him over the shoulders. “Yes, swings.”

“All right, you two hooligans. Swing time.” He stands as Ava latches onto his back, and Emaline curls around his neck. Carrying both seems like an unlikely feat, but he nods to me. “Follow me.”

I peek at Midge, who’s chewing her lip, thinking I shouldn’t leave her when Tommy interjects.

“I need help, man. Come with me.” The hint is there. Give her space. Squeezing her fingers, I feel a small relief when she returns my squeeze before I stand and follow my old friend.

We each push a girl on the swings, silent a moment while they squeal with delight and cries of higher. Standing here pushing them and watching Liam, I realize all the things I’ve missed out on with children although these things were never meant to be for me.

“We might as well get it over with. Just ask me so I can tell you for the thousandth time, no.” I’m not surprised at Tommy’s sharpness. I can be persistent.

“I never believed her. I still don’t.”

“Maybe you don’t but isn’t it hard enough. She’s gone. You can’t help him.”

“I still want to see him.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s my son.” The words linger between us.

“He’s not,” Tommy adds, gritting his teeth, but we both know I don’t believe him. Tommy’s been conditioned to say it so often he can’t shift his mindset to the truth.

“How do you know?”

“Kit told me.”

“Oh, and Kit was always truthful.” We both know this is true. Kit’s honesty fit her needs. She wanted me. She needed me. She didn’t love me. None of that was a lie, and I gave in each time despite the last line.

“Look, what difference does it make? He doesn’t know you’re his father. He’ll never understand the concept. Just let it die.” Tommy pauses, lowering his voice. “No pun intended.”

Kit’s secrets went to the grave with her, but I still believe someone knows the truth.

“It matters to me. Let me have a paternity test.”

“Are you fu…serious?” He pauses, hesitating to swear in front of his great-nieces.