Page 54 of Midlife Crisis

“You okay, baby?” His voice strains to speak as he pummels into me.

“More,” I whisper without the breath to explain my meaning. He doesn’t pause at my response, but stills, pulsing inside me with the tapping rhythm I like. Drained, he collapses next to me, still buried within. He kisses my shoulder, lingering, and I cup his head.

“What did more mean?” The question startles me, and I roll my head to look at him.

“More kisses, more than okay, more of everything.” He returns his mouth to my shoulder and smiles against my skin.

22

More

[Hank]

I’m insatiable for her, touching her in the shower until she gives in and gives me another orgasm. After a quick late afternoon meal of scrambled eggs and fresh toast, I know it’s time to leave.

“Don’t want your boys thinking I spent the whole day ravishing their mother.” Her face pinches at the comment, and she looks away. Something fills her eyes, but she blinks too quickly for me to catch it.

Midge has a nice house, and it reminds me of all I had and lost. I don’t want to leave, actually, but I don’t want her boys to think I’ve been hanging out all day. Last night, Ronin thought we should take her to the hospital while Elston understood her blight. One too many margaritas in her small body backfired. Liam, on the other hand, slept through the ruckus, but I worried he couldn’t miss the loud sobs of his mom. While the boys remained protective, they were willing to let me deal with her. None of them questioned my staying the night.

Turning back to me, she asks, “Did I say anything or do anything I shouldn’t have last night? Besides throwing up and ruining your shirt.”

My lips twist. How can I tell her all the things she said? Sobbing into my t-shirt, she cried about never having passion like she sees in Gage and Ivy, never being loved like Tommy must love Edie, or how I loved Kit. It broke my heart, but it wasn’t the time to explain how I’m questioning my relationship with my ex-lover more and more.

“What do you think you said?”

“If I was mean, I take it back.” My cheeks fall from the teasing grin. Mean to me? She’s adorable, and everything she says sews my heart back together.

“Don’t take it back. Don’t take any of it back.” I reach for her shoulders. She’s perched on a stool at the kitchen island, and I’m standing, ready to exit.

“What did I say?”

“Just don’t take it back.” My voice lowers, pleading with her. If she reneges her words, I’ll break.

“Hank,” she whines.

“I don’t want to tell.” I know enough to realize drunk Midge might have admitted too much. Isn’t there some saying about alcohol setting you free? Wait, maybe that’s the truth will set you free.

“How bad was it?” she asks, lowering her head and tucking her fingers into my waistband.

“You said if I asked, you’d marry me.”

“Sweet cheese,” she moans, her forehead hitting my chest. “I’m—”

I cover her mouth with my hand, stopping any words which might ruin it for me. Instead, I lift her chin and force her to look up. Her eyes remain closed, so I kiss her quickly. A light brush.

“Why do you kiss me like that? So sweet but so fast?” I stiffen, and she doesn’t miss the tension. I hadn’t realized I do it. It’s a habit. Something I’ve done with someone else. Kit didn’t allow me to kiss her in public, so I snuck in quick ones to get her attention. Sometimes, I did it to piss her off, knowing she didn’t want anyone to see us.

“I—”

“Never mind.” She cuts me off with a wave. “Don’t answer that.”

I’d like to think I’ve gotten away with not explaining, but my stomach turns. She pats my chest like she’s placating me, and I don’t like it after what we’ve done this afternoon.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at work.”

“I like the sound of that, Middy.” I do. I like seeing her every day in the garage although I know she’s smarter than our place and has more creativity than being our office manager. Still, it’s nice to see her daily.

I lean forward for the quick kiss and hesitate. Instead, I lay one on her cheek, but it doesn’t feel right. A word whispers through my head. More. Does she mean she wants me to kiss her in front of her boys? Out in public? All the time? I’d gladly oblige, but right now, I need to go.