Page 75 of Midlife Crisis

I take the steps two at a time, slowing my pace as I near the top. Slipping into her room, I find the space dark with moonlight streaming through the large window. I kick off my boots.

“Midge,” I say softly, not wanting to scare her yet feeling guilty for waking her. She faces away from me, so she rolls, looking over her shoulder.

“Hank? What are you doing here?”

“I tried to call, but you didn’t answer. Wanted to make sure you were okay.” I sit on the edge of the bed. She’s tucked in, and I don’t want to take more advantage than I have, especially if Elston decides he wants to check on us. Suddenly, I feel like the teenager, but I don’t care. I need to be close to her. Shifting to my side, I curl up behind her. I force her to roll back to the position she held so her back is to my chest. Wrapping an arm over her waist, I tug her closer to me although the blankets are in the way.

“Where’s Elston?” she asks.

“He let me in.” I pause. “I want to be intimate with you.”

She giggles as she shifts to look at me over her shoulder.

“Is that code for sex because I can’t with Elston in the house, and besides, I have my period.”

What? Shit. I release her and press up on my elbow. “Are you okay? Do you need something?” I’m harping like she’s sick instead of something natural.

“No.” She chuckles at my overconcern.

“Then can I be intimate with you. Close like you said the other day.” I’m holding my breath, because I really want this with her

“Of course, honey.” She rolls back to face the window, and I wrap over her again. Breathing into her hair, I nuzzle my head into the back of her neck.

“Rough night?” she prompts, knowing I saw Lawson.

“I’m worried I won’t connect with him. There’s so much to learn, and I’m so behind. So much time has passed.”

“You’ll be fine,” she says softly. “Parenting doesn’t come with a manual even if you knew him as a baby. Every day is one day at a time.”

“I’ve heard that saying before. Every day in rehab.” I don’t really want to talk about that experience right now, though. “Why does life have so many steps?”

“Sometimes, I think life is just one step at a time. Addiction or not. Can’t change yesterday. Can’t do anything about tomorrow. Just gotta deal with today.”

“Lady, I love you,” I blurt into her neck. We both freeze a moment, and I need her to look at me. I perch up on my elbow again and gently press her shoulder to twist her to face me. “I mean it, Midge. I didn’t just say it to say it. I love you, intimately.”

“I love you, too, honey.” Her lips curve slowly, and I lean forward to kiss her. Her mouth is sweet on mine, icing on my cupcake of happiness at the moment. I pull back too soon for both our liking but with her monthly predicament and Elston in the house somewhere, I don’t want to push anything. I just want to hold her, something I can’t say I’ve done often in my life. I cuddle up behind her again, tugging her as close as the blanket barrier will allow. Wrapping my arm over her, I hold tight, almost afraid she’ll slip away. Her arm loosens from the covers, and she slips it over mine. Holding my wrist, she leans forward and kisses my knuckles. It’s intimate, and for the first time in my life, I feel like I’m in a good place.

33

Offerings

[Hank]

On Monday, I find Midge staring at the computer screen. She was on her cell phone only moments ago, taking a call outside and pacing back and forth. Seeing her appear and then disappear through the view of the front glass door made me nervous. When she stepped back inside, she covered her face for a moment and then straightened, walking stiffly back to her desk. Her desk, I repeat because I like seeing her here, finding her close, and catching her smiling at me. As I near her, I hear an exaggerated sigh.

“What’s wrong, little lady?” I’ve startled her, and she spins, the chair creaking with the speed. She blinks up at me as if she’s trying to focus.

“Ever want something so much, only to discover later it isn’t what you thought it would be?”

Strangely, I do know the sensation. Kit had been that for me, but then another thought strikes. Does she mean me? I rub at my chest, pain radiating inside the cavity. Am I disappointing her? I’m not who I used to be, and although I’m confident in myself, I know being a musician seems more glamorous than a mechanic. Midge is all polished chrome while I’m chipped varnish. I’m scratched, dented, and rusty. Did she change her mind? With hesitation, I ask, “What happened?”

“Pendelton offered me the job.” Her shoulders hunch before she shrugs. My eyes widen with excitement. I’m so proud of her, and I’m ready to tell her as much when I note her body language suggests she doesn’t feel the same way.

“That’s terrific?” I hesitate, uncertain why she appears so blasé about the offer. This is what she wanted.

“It is great. I presented a darn good campaign and the possibility of growth in his dinosaur company. But now, I’m not so certain I want to work there. Not if this is how he treats me, or any other employee for that matter. He only saw me so he could drive his car. I don’t want to turn tricks every time I have an idea for the man. Not to mention, his son gives me the heebie-jeebies. I can’t start a job where I already feel I might be harassed as a means to get my way.”

I have to agree with her on this matter. I’d be on daily alert, prepping to punch Pendelton’s dickwad son if he neared her.