Page 25 of Restored Dreams

“Don’t think.” I press into her skin. “Not yet.” Please, I beg. Not yet.

She nods, and I wrap an arm around her waist while she finishes cooking our dinner. Holding her against me, I’m afraid to let go. Afraid of ever letting her go again.

17

Close call

[Lily]

I shouldn’t have called Ester. For the first time ever, I didn’t want to check on my business. I just wanted to be, like Brut said. However, my head overruled my heart, and questions bombarded me the second I went to my room alone to dress. Pajama day was obviously over, so I pulled on jean shorts, a tank, and a plaid shirt rolled at the sleeves. I wasn’t going to go for my phone, but the next thing I knew, I had it in my hand.

“How’s the vacay, boss lady?” Ester asked without a formal greeting.

“Good. It’s really a great house. Nice setup.”

“What’s wrong?” she asked, an instant shift from pleasantry to mother bear.

“Nothing.” My voice squeaked, and I scrubbed at my head. I didn’t know what to say next. Ester waited me out, knowing I couldn’t take the silence. “Something’s happened.”

“What?” Her voice returned to playful inquiry, as if hoping for juicy gossip. Oh, this will be juicy all right.

“So, it turns out Brut Paige is here.”

“What? In the area? What are the odds?”

“Umm…no. As in literally staying at this house. The same house as me.”

“What?!” Ester bellowed. “How did that happen?”

I scratched at my forehead, a nervous giggle on the tip of my lips. “You know, I’m not exactly certain.”

“Huh,” Ester huffed.

“Yep.”

“So…”

“So?” The conversation wasn’t going anywhere, and I should have hung up. Instead, I hung on.

“Okay, Lily. I’ll spell it out. What the hell is going on down there?”

“I don’t know.” I fell back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. My voice lowered as that is the question I’ve intermittently asked myself. What are we doing?

“Oh my God. Did you sleep with him?” Here’s the thing about Ester. She has an uncanny way of reading people, and she’s pretty direct. I closed my eyes even though she couldn’t see me. My silence answered her question.

“Brut, huh? How do you feel about this? I mean, I bet it felt good, but I mean how do you feel feel?”

“Yeah, Brut,” I answered dreamily with monosyllables because I couldn’t form coherent answers.

“That good, huh?”

“So good.” I exhaled. I haven’t felt this physically alive in a long while. My skin practically tingled from his touch. My body hummed for him. But my heart? My heart knocked inside my chest, asking, What are you doing? This is the man who broke your heart. He slept with your sister. He had a baby with her. He never looked at you again.

Just what. Are. You. Doing?

Fulfilling a fantasy, I want to answer. Completing my bucket list, I want to add.

What’s something you wish you could accomplish? I asked Brut earlier. Having his love would have been on my list.