Page 46 of Restored Dreams

“So, you took it upon yourself to be it? And you never told me?” I stare at him, puzzled by his tone. Is he saying I needed his permission? Maybe when Chopper was younger but not now. He’s an adult.

“I’m sorry for what she did.” I ignore his question. Lauren. My older sister. She fucked my boyfriend to prove a point. He doesn’t want a kid for a lover. Then she found out she was pregnant. A baby innocent of their decision. “It was cruel to both of you.”

By the time Brut got Chopper, he and I were history. I wanted to offer my help, but I didn’t know how. The wound just grew deeper and deeper for me.

“I went to your home after she left Chopper with you.”

“You what?” Brut shakes his head, his voice rising.

“Lauren had disappeared. I thought you might know something. Your dad interceded. He told me flat out you didn’t need her or any other relative related to her. That’s when I knew you had him, and he was at least safe.”

“Why didn’t you come to me at the shop?”

“I just…I couldn’t face the place.” So many memories of sneaking off to meet him—his dirty little secret. He broke my heart, and I couldn’t return to the scene of my crimes. “I was young. I made mistakes.” I don’t need to remind Brut he made them, too.

“How did you meet Chopper?”

“He came into the bakery with some other kids. He was about fourteen or fifteen. It was so surreal because I recognized him instantly. He looks so much like you. I just went up to him and said, ‘hey, I’m your aunt Lily,’ without even thinking.” I remember the day with complete clarity. He was with a group of buddies and a few girls, who I assumed were the reason they were even in a bakery. One girl called out his name, and when I looked over at him, I saw a younger Brut instantly. Brown hair like soft leather. A smile that would break a girl’s heart, and blue eyes shaped like my sister’s.

“Fifteen?” Brut’s blue eyes search my face for answers. “That was seven years ago.” His voice fades, questioning the timing.

“He decided to keep in touch with me. He’s been here to visit, or he’ll call me to talk.” The truth falls between us, and I can see the pain in Brut from his wrinkled brow. Guilt holds my throat, and I swallow at the hurt I’m causing him.

Brut shakes his head in disbelief. “He never told me.”

“He said you never talked about his mother or her family, as if we didn’t exist. I told him I would respect your wishes, but if he ever needed anything, as a friend, I was here for him.” Chopper took me up on the offer. We’ve chatted about girls, friendships, and even a few life decisions, but I never asked about his dad, and he never told me anything about their relationship.

“Why didn’t he tell me?” Brut questions, and my heart pinches at the betrayal he feels his son caused him. His expression morphs, and I practically see another thought form. “Why didn’t you mention it? All week, Lily. A week,” he stresses.

“I wasn’t thinking of Chopper last week.” My voice lowers. I wasn’t. My head was only full of Brut and me, and the promise of our time together. No past. No future.

“Why was he here today?” Brut’s tone sharpens again, and the news I’m about to share will be even harder, especially as I’m sensing from the question his son hasn’t told him anything. I’m betraying Chopper, but Brut needs to know what’s happened. This will be the final fissure between us.

“Lauren contacted Chopper. On Friday.” Brut’s brows rise, surmising the same as me. Chopper’s fight stems from Lauren. “She claims she’s dying and wants to see him.”

“Abso-fucking-lutely not.” The threatening venom within Brut’s tone is uncharacteristic of him yet totally understandable. I don’t know what Lauren could be playing at, but she’s sent her son into a tailspin of questions. “She has no claim to him.”

“I agree with you in every way, I do, but she’s Chopper’s mother, and if she is dying, he has so many unanswered questions that only she can answer.” Brut glares at me, disagreeing with me without speaking.

“Did you know? Are you still in contact with your sister? Did you know she was dying? Is this one more thing you kept from me?”

I want to reach for him and assure him I had no idea. Lauren hadn’t contacted me.

“No.” I shake my head adamantly. “The day I left you, I walked away from her too. I went to LA and took a job in a bakery to learn the business. I hadn’t spoken to her or heard anything other than a few hints from my mother about the baby being born and then Lauren went missing. I feared for him. She’s never contacted me.”

Brut stares at me, struggling with whether to believe me.

“No. Just no,” he blurts. “She will not see him. She abandoned him. That’s all he needs to know.” Brut scrubs down his face. “The paternity test. Do you know what kind of hell that was for me? What if he hadn’t been mine, yet here was a baby sitting on my front porch? And finding out he was mine added a new layer to my fuckup with that bitch.” I flinch despite my agreement. “Then waiting out the abandonment process and legally changing his name.” Brut throws his glass toward the sink, whiskey raining down across my pristine kitchen. Thankfully, the glass ricochets within the stainless steel basin where it lands and doesn’t break.

“He’s my son,” Brut shouts, pointing at his chest. “Mine.”

My heart breaks in two. Brut is right. In every way, he raised Chopper on his own. Lauren has no right to him. In fact, she signed all rights over to me. I didn’t want to be involved, didn’t think I should be involved until Chopper stood in my shop with my sister’s eyes and the rest of him all Brut.

Brut stares at me with confusion and disbelief, a broken heart and a damaged spirit, and I know when he walks out my door, he’ll never look back.

26

Death becomes her