Page 75 of Speak from the Heart

Rule 21

Goodbye. Is that two words or one? Like heartbreak.

[Jess]

I wake with a start, feeling disoriented for a moment. Last night seems like a dream.

First, Katie spoke.

And then Emily.

We made love the first round, but we tackled one another on the second. I was preparing to leave when I finally admitted the truth to her.

“I don’t want to say goodbye.”

“Then don’t.” She kneeled up on the bed and lunged for me. Her mouth crashed against mine, and my clothes came back off.

I took her one more time before I stole off in the early hours of the morning.

I wake alone in my own bed.

Then I notice the door to Katie’s room is open.

I rise slowly, suffering from both a lack of sleep and night of amazing sex. But it wasn’t just sex with Emily. It never has been. I made love to her, and even in the rapid pace of round two, I loved her with my entire being.

Only she’s leaving today.

I should shower, but first I want to find Katie and check on her. I tug on yesterday’s T-shirt—which holds a hint of Emily’s scent—and a pair of basketball shorts. I take the stairs down to the front room and then stop short. On the middle of the coffee table sits the radio.

The one belonging to Emily’s nana.

“What’s this?” I say aloud, though there’s no one in the room. My sister enters my peripheral vision as she exits the kitchen and crosses through the dining room.

“Emily dropped this off this morning along with that envelope.”

I step closer to the table. I can’t stop staring down at the items as if each is a dangerous foreign object or something that might burst into flames. Suddenly, I feel like I’m going to combust.

“She stopped by and hugged Katie. It was awful. Then she left this for you,” Tricia explains.

“She was here.” My head shoots up. Didn’t she ask to see me? I don’t ask. I told her I didn’t want to say goodbye.

Tricia only nods. She keeps her gaze on me as she holds out a cup of coffee.

I need to go down the street.

I need to get back to her house.

I need to tell her to stay.

No, ask her if she’ll stay for me. For Katie.

Something in my face must tell my sister my plan, but she shakes her head.

“You’re too late, Jess. She left hours ago.”

“What do you mean, she left?”

She hadn’t made me the list of things I told her I would take care of for her.