Page 74 of View With Your Heart

“I will be all in, just from far away.” Even as I say the words, they don’t settle well in the pit of my stomach. That’s not the kind of dad I want to be.

Ethan shakes his head, and I read the disappointment in his expression. “Well, at least he’ll have Mum and Dad as grandparents, and Jacob and me as uncles.” Ethan tips his beer to Jacob’s soda can as Jacob no longer drinks. “We’ll be happy to corrupt him for you.”

Shit. It’s funny, but it hurts. They’ll see Gee all the time, but I won’t.

“Yeah, and I’m sure we’ll find a few single guys wanting to date Britton. I mean, she’s hot,” Ethan adds.

“Heard some Spencer Campbell guy in Traverse City is available,” Jacob snorts.

“I know Spencer.” We went to school together, and he owns the adventure shack Theo works out of near the condo I rented.

“Yeah, well, he’s single.”

Ethan laughs. “He’s saying that because the guy wanted to date Pam.”

“Which obviously she’s not available. Put a ring on it to prove it.” Jacob’s words hit another mark. Will Britton date? She hasn’t since Patrick’s death. She hasn’t been with anyone until me. I sit straighter in my seat in Jacob’s kitchen. We’ve been sitting on stools around a massive island.

Will Britton find another guy, fall in love, and marry him instead of me?

Fuck.

She already replaced me once, finding another man who stepped in to be Gee’s dad. Will she find someone to step in and replace him as her husband? None of these thoughts settle well with me, even if I’m still angry with her.

“She lied to me,” I blurt.

“Did she?”

“She withheld the truth. She should have told me the second she saw me here.”

“Because you’re so stable and you’ll stick around.” Ethan’s sharp words hurt.

“Fuck you, man.”

“The truth hurts, doesn’t it?” he adds. “But sometimes, it’s for your own good.”

“Lying to me wasn’t for my good,” I remind him.

“Nope, I’m thinking she did that for Gee. She doesn’t want you hurting him because you’ll leave.”

Gah, I hate how Ethan might be right.

“When did you get so smart,” I question.

“Fell in love with a smart girl, full of hurts, and she taught me how to be.”

Jacob’s head swivels to face Ethan as he’s speaking about his stepsister.

“I guess the same happened to me. Pam had her bruises, but they were nothing like the aches and pains in me. She’s taught me to want love above all things.”

“Do you realize how sappy you two sound?” I mock, sitting forward on the stool, feeling it’s time to leave.

“Yeah, but we’re also happy,” Ethan says. “Can you say the same thing?”

Fuck, I really hate my little brother sometimes, especially when he knows things, like the fact I’m not happy. Not at all.

+ + +

On Monday night, Gee and Britton come to dinner at my parents’ place. I’m nervous, and I feel Dad watching me as I open the door for them. Dad and I haven’t really spoken to one another other than I’m going to bed when I got home yesterday from Jacob’s and like some coffee this morning when I found him in the kitchen.