Page 26 of The Heart Remembers

“Are you coming tonight?” God, how I want to misread that question and answer yes, yes, I want to come with her. I want to taste her again and have her touch me. I want her so badly it hurts in more than one place. My fingers, my tongue, my lips all want a chance to explore her, and the sound of her, the taste of her haunt my thoughts. My dick couldn’t settle last night. Most of all, my heart longs for more with her.

“I’ll be there,” I say, straining to get my lusty thoughts under control.

+ + +

For some reason, Katie’s questions about my life have me thinking too hard. In the late afternoon, while AJ is napping, I take a quiet moment to sit on the stone patio in the heat of the sunshine. The trees surrounding the house provide some filtered shade, and a nice breeze rolls off the lake.

“Beer for your thoughts,” Tricia says to me, falling into the chair next to mine after handing me a beer.

“Thanks.” I shrug, not needing another sisterly intervention speech like last night.

“It’s so beautiful here,” she says, looking out over the scene. Tricia lives in town and can view the lake often enough if she walks the few blocks to the public beach. However, it’s not quite the same as a house butting up to water with an unobstructed view or the absence of noise from a town. “It’s so peaceful.”

She sighs, content by the quiet, while I sometimes curse the silence of home. AJ is too young to speak, and some days, the silence unnerves me. It’s lonely. Sitting here, though, I’m overcome by a different sense—silent calm.

“We’ve missed you,” Tricia says, adding to the tens of times she’s already said it since I’ve been here. “It’s different than when you were in the military. It’s like I knew you were unobtainable, off wherever you were, and the missing mixed with worry and fear. This missing is the fact you’re back but still too far away.”

I snort. She’s so sentimental at times. “I could never live here again.”

“Really?” Her head shoots up, and she glances over at me. “Somehow, I’d always hoped you’d find your way back.” Her head tips back, and she closes her eyes to the filtered sunlight.

“What would I even do here?” I tease, but the question isn’t a total joke. Since Katie’s questions this morning, I’ve been wondering if I could do something else, somewhere else.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be? My answer was so quick about land and horses, but it didn’t have to be in Florida. In fact, I’d been thinking more and more about Randall Ranch, and the possibility of land in the Midwest. I don’t know that I could afford anything here, but it’s a nice thought. Because, just like Tricia’s saying about me, I miss her too. I miss hanging out with Leon and his boys. I miss Lys and our friendship. And I’ll miss Katie all over again once I leave.

“What if I did come back?”

Tricia sits forward again, shifting her entire body to face me. Her expression is so bright she almost blinds me with her excitement.

“Easy,” I tease. “I’m just saying what if. I can’t live with you and Leon, and I don’t even know if I could afford what I’d want.” My own home. Some land. Horses.

“But we could help you.”

“I don’t need help.” I collect military disability, plus my pay.

“I mean, we could help you with AJ. You’d have family to give you a break or hang out with us. We’re cool.” She wiggles her brows. The Carter-Ramirez clan is amazing, but I don’t know that I’d want to hang out with them every Thursday at Town Tavern.

“I don’t know,” I say, squinting out at the dark water.

“Why do you have to tease me so? You’re cruel,” she admonishes, blowing off her disappointment, but I detect a hint underneath that she’d really like me to come home.

Home.

It’s so strange to think of this place as such a thing. Tricia would be the first to tell me that home isn’t a place you live but wherever your heart beats. And this week, my heart has been beating triple time in this small town. It’s the people around me. It’s Tricia and Leon, Lys and the Ramirez crew.

It’s Katie. It always comes back to her.

“I’d have to have a pretty compelling reason to return here,” I warn Tricia, knowing just what that reason could be, even as it seems impossible.

“Hmm. I think you already do,” she teases, falling back in her chair. “Search that deck of cards, Levi. The queen of hearts is within reach.”

11

[Katie]

After a day with Daisy and Mom, I’m ready to go out. I love my little sister, but she’s spoiled. Mom spent a small fortune on her for her return to high school this fall, and it took hours longer because Daisy was upset her body isn’t shaped like mine. I hate how as women we all have a perfect image in mind, and it’s never the body we already own.

Tonight, I’m spending time with the cousins, or at least those old enough to go to Half Rack. Hops farms, breweries, and wineries have had a huge growth in the area over the last decade or so, says my dad, and it’s been good for the area if you’re a beer lover or wine enthusiast. At Half Rack’s patio bar outside their factory, they only serve beer. I’m enjoying a summer shanty, which has a hint of lemonade in it. The night is beautiful but cool, meaning fall is right around the corner.