Page 6 of Living at 40

“Life of the party. That’s me,” he retorts, slapping his chest.

“I can loan you mine,” Zack suggests, coming forward with the second cooler and placing it in the sand beside a beach chair. “They’ll change your mind.” On that note, Zack’s two boys let out a whoop and a scream, chasing Lorna and Mila in the shallow waves. The wind whips around us, forcing white caps to form on the rolling water. It’s a child’s delight to have such crests to jump or dodge. Squeals of excitement come from all four of them, and it sounds amazing.

“It’s just something I’ve been thinking about,” I mutter, weakly defending myself.

“What have you been thinking about?” Mason questions, pulling up the rear with a bag of snacks.

“Autumn wants a baby,” Logan announces, bringing us full circle.

“Really?” Mason’s perfect man brows hitch. “I volunteer as tribute.”

“What?” I say, my mouth falling open.

“What the fuck?” Logan hisses beside him, turning to glare at his old roommate.

“Not what I had in mind,” my brother mumbles, taking a seat.

I turn to Anna, looking for backup in this train wreck she started. Her silence worries me, and she gives me one of her famous glares, hinting I should accept Mason’s offer.

“No,” I mouth to her again.

“No to what?” Logan demands, and I turn on him next, wondering how he saw me move my lips in the direction of my sister-in-law.

“I didn’t say anything.” With false innocence, Anna holds up her hands as she responds to Logan.

“It’s nothing,” I remark, but not even a heartbeat passes before Anna does speak.

“I think Autumn should make a list of three men, sleep with each of them, and let nature do its thing.”

“Didn’t that happen in The Big Chill?” Zack asks, and I groan.

“This is not the eighties, and why are we even discussing my sex life?” I sigh, my shoulders tensing.

“I’m good with talking about your sex life,” Mason teases, taking a seat next to Zack, who tips a beer bottle toward the resident player, and they tap the glass necks.

“I don’t think we should be discussing her sex life,” Logan defends, lowering for the cooler at his feet, lifting the lid, and hastily pulling out a beer. He isn’t even standing upright before the top cracks open, and the bottle is at his lips. He’s swallowing with quick chugs, and his Adam’s apple bobs. Watching that slight knob roll along his throat, I want to lick over that part of him and then rub my cheek against that scruff on his jaw. I wonder what it would feel like between my thighs, up against my . . . but there will be none of that. While I crushed hard on Logan Anders as a teenager, that infatuation ended with a crash and heartbreak long ago. However, I don’t miss that he’s defending me.

“Finally,” I say, waving out a hand at him. “Someone’s on my side.”

“Oh, he’d be on your side alright,” Zack mutters before tipping up his beer for another sip. Logan glares at Zack. I don’t understand what they aren’t saying, but I don’t want to know. These guys are still buffoons, and I’m the little sister they love to tease.

“We’re not discussing this,” I huff, throwing myself onto a chair and staring out at my niece playing with the other children in the water.

“I’m sorry,” Anna says, lowering to a seat beside mine. With my arms crossed, my body language reads like a petulant child.

“It’s fine,” I lie, but it isn’t. Anna has it all, as does my brother, and it isn’t fair. And I don’t mean that negatively against them as I love them both, but I just want my own little share of life—a baby.

My hands roughly grasp the beach chair arms, and I quickly stand.

“I’m going for a walk,” I mutter.

“I’ll go with you,” Anna says, shuffling to rise from her seat.

“No, you stay.” These are her friends and a part of her perfect life. I just want to be alone for a minute like I always am.

4

[Logan]