Page 8 of Living at 40

“To living, loving, losing, and learning,” Ben adds.

“That sounds dull. To the four points of a compass.” Mason lifts his beer.

“Welcome home,” Anna adds, lifting hers in salute. They wait on me, but I don’t know what to add.

“To forever friends,” I say. Ben’s eyes meet mine across our circle, and he slowly smiles.

“I like that,” he says.

“You two sound like thirteen-year-old chicks,” Mason teases.

“What’s wrong with thirteen-year-old girls?” Anna defends.

“Nothing. If you’re like an eleven-year-old boy,” Mason counters.

“Why eleven?” Zack asks.

“Always trade up,” Mason jokes, and we all groan. “What? I matured early.”

“You never matured,” I tease, but this time, Mason doesn’t look hurt because he knows I’m right. He’ll be a kid until he dies, and that’s not a bad way to be. I just don’t want him to decide he’ll trade down and go after a certain someone’s younger sister.

+ + +

“What do you think of Speck and all this baby business?” Mason asks as we enter the upstairs hallway after an afternoon of sunshine and too much beer. My head is fuzzy, and I need a nap before dinner, but that’s not happening. I’ll have to settle for a wake-me-up shower and a cold one at that. After a day of watching Autumn on the beach, lounging in the sun, and playing with the kids, especially Lorna and Mila, I’ve had a raging hard-on that needs a good beating. Or three. I cannot get Autumn out of my thoughts. Her laughter. Her smile. Her incredible body.

Fuck. It’s crazy how consumed I’ve been by her all day.

“For one, I think you should stop calling her Speck.” Said harsher than necessary, I realize I’m just worked up.

“I’d baby-make with her without the baby part,” Mason states, wiggling his brows.

I’m not a violent person, but I drop the shirt I’ve been holding and pin Mason against the wall. Typically, I’d be a fumbling mess, but my strength has improved with my diet and workout regime. Mason gasps for air as he tries to speak with my forearm at his throat.

“Dude,” he groans.

“Don’t talk about her like that.”

Mason tries to shove me off him, and I let him. Smoothing down his T-shirt, he glares at me. “I’d never do anything to Baby Kulis. I’m just stating a fact. She’s changed. A lot.”

I’ve noticed, but so has Mason, and it isn’t settling well with me. He’s been known to steal a girl or two from me once they get a look at him.

“Don’t be a dick,” I mumble, bending at the waist for my shirt on the floor.

“Want to tap that yourself?” he teases.

“Shut up,” I hiss, turning my head to make certain no one else hears him. “I’m not going to talk disrespectfully about her.”

“Disrespectfully? That’s a big word.” Mason holds up spread fingers waving them in a manner Lorna would call jazz hands. “I’m not being disrespectful. I’m just stating the four-one-one.”

“Well, keep your four-one-one to yourself as well as your dick.” Turning away from him, I don’t want a response from him. Giving him my back, I reach for the knob of my bedroom door and slam it after I enter the room. Dropping my shirt again, I lay back against the wood and scrub both hands over my hair. I shouldn’t be this worked up. Baby Kulis, as Mason called her, wouldn’t be interested in me anyway. She’ll always think of me as the funny one. The sweet guy in the crowd. A guy who might win a girl for his personality, but nothing else, like having a heart.

Like her, I’ve changed a lot, but one thing is still the same. She’s Ben’s little sister, which means off-limits.

5

[Autumn]

While I didn’t appreciate my sister-in-law spilling the beans about my business to these guys, I couldn’t stay mad at her. As always, Ben tried to smooth my ruffled feathers, and after an afternoon at the beach with everyone else’s children, I was even more determined to come up with a plan. Life was short, and mine was not getting shorter. I wanted a baby, and despite not having a husband or even a boyfriend, I needed to make baby magic happen.