Page 46 of Learning at 40

“You’re late,” I remind him in our awkward position, and he begins to move again, taking his time at first but quickly building to a steady crescendo. Our skin slaps in the quiet night, and Zack grunts behind me, filling the air with more words of praise and compliment.

“So wet. So beautiful. So good.”

I’m in the moment with him, but I’m not going to reach any pinnacle. I’m spent. With his hands on my hips and his rapid-fire thrusts, it doesn’t take him long before he rushes out of me and lays his length on my lower back. Leaning forward, I lower my forehead as I feel him pulse and pump at the base of my spine. He’s breathing heavily again, and I match him. It’s my heart that’s racing.

“Angel, I . . .” he chokes on whatever he planned to say and kisses my back. Catching his breath, he finally mutters, “I’m flying.”

I have no idea what that means other than he’s high from the release. We’ve had sex in four positions, and he’s had three orgasms. It’s a lot in a few hours. Slowly, he stands, uses a corner of the sleeping bag to clean my back, and then wraps an arm around my waist, lifting me to lean against his chest.

“Did I hurt you?” he whispers into my neck, and I shake my head. “I don’t know what came over me, but I can’t get enough of you. I’ll never have enough.”

They are pretty words on such a lovely night, but something beneath his tone is unsettling. This final rush through sex feels like a farewell instead of a start. However, my foolish heart is racing, and my blood is still pumping, and I want to believe our time together is endless.

I want to believe he’ll make time for me.

17

[Zack]

The next morning, Mason is in a mood. He takes one look at me and smiles big.

“Our Zacky got laid,” he announces to the kitchen, which is thankfully empty of children. My boys are scootering up and down the driveway while Mila and Lorna draw with chalk. I owe Bryce double the money because it was nearly four when I snuck back in the house. To my surprise, he was still up watching some app. He assured me the boys hadn’t stirred, and I asked him to keep it our little secret about how late I returned. I’m certain he will. He’s not up himself, so I don’t know how Mason knows shit, but he’s smiling at me like a pleased father.

Then he steps up to me, clasps my face, and kisses my cheek. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Get off me.” I press at him while trying to suppress a laugh. Losing the battle, I catch Anna watching me. Weakly she smiles, and my chest tightens. It doesn’t seem fair to be feeling all this emotion for River when Anna’s so sad. However, I remember what she said. Flying is a nice feeling, and I finally get it. It’s like Mason explained. Falling sounds negative, like a pit with a hard, rocky bottom is below me. But flying, it’s endless up there with stratosphere upon stratosphere to keep soaring through.

“So. How was it?” Mason asks, placing an elbow on the kitchen island and his chin in the heel of his hand. He bats his eyes like a teenage girl wanting all the details. “Did it hurt? Were you scared? Did you use protection?”

He straightens, but he knows the answer. He gave me the condoms because I didn’t have my own. I know most men carry them everywhere, especially if they’re sexually active or actively seeking one-night stands. As it’s the last thing I expected to happen during these two weeks, I was completely unprepared. I’m even less prepared for how I feel.

River is amazing, as I said, and it’s not just a physical attraction. She makes me laugh. She’s playful and good at heart. Down to her soul, she’s a decent person, and it’s so refreshing.

“Be careful, Zack,” Anna warns. “I have to live next to her when you leave.”

The weight of her words crushes me, and Mason rolls his eyes with his back to Anna.

“We aren’t talking long-term commitment with a diamond and a contract. This was one night.” Mason tips a brow. “Or will it be a few more?”

I don’t know what it will be. I suggested a ten-day fling, but the phrase feels inadequate. Something happened when we were climbing the stairs. It was like heading upward, time felt like it was rewinding, turning back the clock, and I didn’t want to give her up. I wanted time to stop.

The thought reminds me I can’t find my watch. I thought I had it with me when I went to River’s yard, but as I didn’t have it when we went swimming or when I woke on the beach, I guess not. It also wasn’t in my room on the nightstand where I place it when I’m not wearing it.

“Have you seen my watch?” I abruptly ask, changing subjects. Anna shakes her head, and Mason stares at me like I’m crazy.

“Who cares about your watch? We’re talking about a woman here. Zacky got laid.”

“We’re done talking about me. Why don’t you get laid?”

Mason stiffens, and Anna tilts her head from behind Mason, staring at the back of his neck. “Been a little preoccupied,” Mason quietly states. My gaze shifts to Anna. Shit.

“Yeah, well.” I scratch at the back of my neck. “I’ve had a longer dry spell than you,” I tease hoping to lighten the tension. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to happen as Mason’s jaw clenches. Anna’s face scrunches. Neither of them moves. Finally, Mason speaks.

“How about a run to the Lake Liberty project? We can grab Logan and take all the boys.” The suggestion of work isn’t exactly how I want to spend a day, but River needs to sleep. She works the late shift again, and I need her rested for another late night.

+ + +

River texts me to meet her at midnight, and I love that she wants me as much as I want her. At least, I hope the feeling is mutual, and I’m reassured when I find her on the lounger. A light somewhere in the house is on but not reflecting into the yard. A blanket is tucked up under her arms, and a glass of wine sits in her hands.