Page 47 of Learning at 40

“Whatcha got under there?” I tease, noticing her arms are bare, as is her chest.

“Why don’t you find out?” she flirts, lifting her glass for a sip. “But first, lose the clothes.”

I tug off my T-shirt, kick off my flip-flops, and pull condoms from my pocket before dropping my shorts. Standing before her naked as the night, I watch as her gaze slowly roams up my body.

“You are one dazzling man,” she hums, letting those eyes eat me up. It’s a nice feeling to work hard on my body and have someone appreciate it other than myself. And not just someone, but River.

I crawl up the lounger and tug back the blanket to find her naked as well. Reaching for the glass of wine in her hand, I remove it and drink the remainder.

“That was mine,” she says.

“I thought we were sharing,” I state, recalling our first night together on this outdoor furniture.

“Not yet.” She slowly smiles and presses her teeth to her lower lip.

I slip over River, forcing her legs apart with my hips. Her body is warm underneath mine, and I tug the blanket back up over both of us. River scoots lower on the lounger, and I cup one side of her jaw before leaning forward to kiss her. She tastes like wine and summer and things I’ve never thought about before, like hearts, flowers, and love.

Taking my time, I kiss River long and sweet, dragging out each pull before adding my tongue to the mix. She follows my lead, keeping us lazy and loose. Her fingers dig into the hair at my nape, and we stay like this for a long time, absorbing each other with tender kisses.

Eventually, my hand skims her body, outlining her form. I cover a breast, dip to her waist, and slip between her thighs. Taking my time with every touch, I memorize her. As my fingers slide into her warmth, her head tips back a bit, and I lick along her neck before nibbling at the cliff of her jaw. She’s so beautiful, so responsive, and I don’t know how I’ll walk away from her.

My thumb joins the mix of fingers in her heat, rubbing her clit until she gives in to me. Less of a rush, more like a slow drag, her release overtakes her. Her thighs clutch at my hand, and her channel clenches around my fingers. Eventually, her hand finds me hard and ready, but I don’t want her fist.

“I need inside you again.”

“I’d like that.” A soft grin curls her lips, and I quickly sheath myself. Entering her last night without protection wasn’t a mistake. It felt amazing as I repeatedly told her, but it also wasn’t smart. I’m safe. I believe she’s safe, but there’s another risk I don’t need to take—a second accidental pregnancy. Still, the heat, the wet, the connection were immeasurable.

Once I’m covered, I slip into place and slowly glide home. We seem to hold our breaths as I enter her until I can’t get any deeper. Then I still, kissing her long and lazy once more before her hips roll upward, and mine matches hers. Leaning on one elbow, I move over her body as I had before while we dance in a rhythm I’ve never experienced. There’s no doubt this slow tempo is making love, and with this woman, it feels so right. I’m soaring again.

We keep the even pace as long as we can, torturing ourselves as my shaft feels every pull from her channel, and she gasps at every push inside her. Magnets attracting. I’ll never have enough of her like I thought last night, yet time is ticking. My vacation ends soon.

I don’t allow those thoughts to take over as I roll when she rocks, and I thrust when she bucks. In no time, she’s warning me, and her legs stiffen in that signal she’s ready to release. I stop moving my hips.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, her eyes flipping open when they just closed.

“I want to feel you come around me.” My thumb is rubbing her clit in a tantalizing circle, and her smile grows as she gives in to the release. She clenches and squeezes while I’m fully encased in her warmth, and it’s more than I could ever imagine. Once she settles from the high, she’s cupping my backside and forcing me to move, guiding me to catch my own release, which doesn’t take long as I held off to allow the sensation of her around me. Now, there’s no holding back, and I speed up.

“Zack.” My name on her lips catches. “Zack, I . . .”

“Yes.” I know what she’s hinting at. “Again. Together. Let me feel you again, angel.” When she starts to clutch at my dick from the depths of her channel, I burst like a rocket shot to the moon. It’s an explosion of flames and smoke and so much more as I break through another layer of stratosphere with her.

When the sensations subside, I lean forward and kiss her once more, as if we have all night which we don’t. Eventually, I curl her into my chest and just hold her, straightening the blanket over both of us and pretending time stands still, and we can stay like this forever.

18

[River]

By Monday night’s manicures and margaritas, I have a serious girl crush on both Autumn and Anna. Autumn is the owner of Crossroads Café, one of my favorite local places, especially as it is an easy walk from my house. There isn’t an eat-in dining section but a custom-made sandwich counter and a coffee station complete with sugary treats to satisfy my occasional sweet tooth.

Anna had been a high school English teacher outside Chicago before moving to the area. This past year, she worked as a substitute because of Ben’s condition but hoped for a more permanent placement in the next school year. As she learned I was a pediatric oncology nurse, we both agreed working with other people’s children took a special talent and patience.

After manicures, we go to Rudder’s, a local bar that’s darker and quieter in comparison to the more tourist-popular Driftwoods by the beach. There, Anna tells me more about Chicago—where she grew up, where she previously lived, and what she loved about the big city. She then explains how Lakeside Cottage was her favorite place and where she met Ben.

“He liked to joke he was the lawn boy.” Her parents were the original owners of the sprawling house next door to mine and had a landscaping service handle their yard care. The company was owned by Ben’s father, and Ben worked for his dad as a teenager. Anna and Ben met their senior year of high school. Autumn also previously worked for the family business as an office manager. Upon their father’s death, Autumn moved on to her own business venture.

“Ben had given it all up to follow me to Chicago,” Anna explains. They went to Michigan State University together, but Anna wanted to work closer to her home city. “Ben opened his own landscaping business and started at the roots, as he liked to say. He cut people’s grass at first.” Anna gave me the background on Ben being diagnosed, their decision to sell the business, and move their family to a place they all loved.

“It was a big change, especially for the boys, but Ben wanted to spend his final days in a place he loved more than anywhere. Plus, he wanted the time with our family. We had opposite schedules with my summers off while his summers were the busiest season.”