Page 10 of Letting Go at 40

While I’m steaming mad from this new revelation and Ben’s dismissal, I hear something about Mason staying in the rooms over the garage. The cottage is actually a sprawling six-bedroom home, most of which have their own bathrooms, plus a main bedroom suite on the first floor, complete with a sitting area and bathroom. The house also has a three-car garage with a two-bedroom apartment above it. The garage is free standing and a dozen feet from the house with a private entrance to the apartment along the side of the building.

Living above our garage would cramp Mason’s tramp-boy style. I will not watch Mason bring random women to the apartment. I don’t need my kids to see that kind of behavior either.

When we were younger, Mason was a full-on womanizer. Girls willingly took off their panties with only a smile from him. He has these dimples that peek out, like he’s a shy boy when he’s a snake in disguise. Actually, a charming snake, like a cobra, ready to strike. I had to listen to his escapades all through college, and on several occasions, I witnessed the broken-hearted tears of girls who didn’t understand the game.

Mason was never going to settle down. He wasn’t a one-woman kind of guy. He was that guy who loved women in general and couldn’t get his fill of them. He wasn’t picky, either. Of course, that got him into trouble with one particular woman.

When we were in college, I began to think Mason resented me. He hated how often I was around, stating that I cramped their four-guys vibe. I was ruining his chances of scoring with girls. I’d argue I was present to protect my friends from making a big mistake.

The animosity between us grew from there.

Mason couldn’t stand me. I didn’t care for him.

How was it possible he was volunteering himself to stay in my home then?

After goodbyes and hugs, Logan leaves Lakeside with his daughter Lorna although my sister-in-law’s heart is breaking. They’ve just had a two-week fling. Autumn is Ben’s younger sister and a staple in our lives. We’re going to need her even more once we move here.

Zack leaves with his two little ones, Trevor and Oliver, and I actually release a deep sigh of relief. I love children. I’m a teacher but those two are a handful.

As cars pull out of our driveway, I turn to Ben, with questions still weighing heavy on my mind. Did he not have faith in me to stand by his side and handle what the future might bring?

For better or worse. In sickness and in health.

My anger grows and I slip out from under Ben’s arm and head straight to our bedroom. Ben and I have taken over the suite on the first floor. While I’ve inherited this house with my siblings after the unfortunate death of our parents, Ben and I are the ones to visit Lakeside Cottage the most. Making the executive decision to take over this room and claim the house for Ben’s final year was easy. My brother Archer has been out of the family loop for years. My sister Amelia is focused on her career in Chicago. She’ll visit but she doesn’t want to live in Lakeside.

“What’s wrong?” Ben’s voice startles me as I hadn’t heard him enter our room behind me.

I’ve picked up one of several heart shaped rocks that have appeared in the last two weeks. Despite the protest from Ben, I’m convinced the romantic gesture comes from him. With the first one in my palm, I stroke my thumb over the hard, flat surface. The movement soothes me. In this new development of Mason staying, I’m going to need all the calm and all the strength I can muster. I slip the comforting talisman into the pocket of my shorts and turn to Ben.

“Did you ask him to stay?” Does he really believe I won’t handle what comes our way?

“Not in so many words. I told him I wanted him to look out for—”

“And I told you, I won’t need help.” I clarify, interrupting him with a hand in the air. “I don’t need Mason.”

Ben tilts his head, hands on his hips. He’s already lost weight. His stunning blue eyes are less bright than they’d been even last month. The littlest things are what I’m noticing. Like how his kisses are both desperate but separating, as if every one of them is a goodbye. I’m not certain how I feel about them. Do I savor the denial in them? The hope we will live our forever as we vowed? Or am I disappointed in the slow disconnect of each one of them? The deep sorrow behind each kiss that our forever has a timestamp on it.

“Is the issue help, or is it Mason?” Ben’s tone teases.

However, I’m not in a playful mood.

I met Mason the same summer I met Ben. They were both eighteen and worked for Kulis Landscaping, a local company owned by Ben’s father. Ben and Mason cut the grass, pulled weeds, and raked leaves at Lakeside Cottage. The irony of the princess in the tower lusting over the yard worker was not lost on me.

Ben’s history was simple. He came from a good family with a hard-working father. His mother worked in the company’s office answering phones and handling the bookkeeping. Ben, and eventually Autumn, worked for the business as well.

Mason, on the other hand, came from money. His father owned a construction company in a relatively wealthy and touristy area of Michigan. Neither Mason nor his father, I suspect, ever touched a tool in their lives. They were general contractors, who supervised the building of condominiums and shopping centers. From what I’d gathered the summer we’d met Mason was popular in his hometown. He was spoiled and conceited, but devastatingly good looking.

He was the type of boy featured on a teen-heartthrob poster you hung on your wall. He was pretty to look at, but you didn’t risk touching a boy out of your league. I wasn’t his type anyway.

I never understood how Ben and Mason became friends. Mason was resentful of the summer job he had at Kulis Landscaping. Frank Kulis and Mason’s dad were friends and Mr. Becker had hoped manual labor would teach Mason a lesson in humility.

Still, friendship bloomed between Ben and Mason. They were opposites in so many ways. Rich boy, poor boy. Large city, small town. Funny and sweet versus sexy and raunchy. Mason still acted like a twelve-year old adolescent was trapped in his body. However, the fine details of his stature suggested he was all man.

And all of that was neither here nor there at the moment.

I didn’t want Mason staying. “I won’t need him.”

“I need him, then,” Ben says, and every piece of anger in me shatters.