Page 115 of Allegiant

My brothers will already be there. Their partners, too. With the information we’ve uncovered on Scott, they would’ve been planning to meet. The emergency alarm I pressed on my watch before bringing my dagger to Adriana’s neck would’ve sped up the process. They would have been halfway to the theater when I messaged them to stand down while walking Rowan and Adi to my car.

I don’t want to see any of them now. I just want to usher Rowan upstairs, get on my knees, and beg.

But I know that’s not how it will work. So instead, I park outside the house and rush around to open Rowan’s door. But he beats me to it, flinging it open and striding up the steps to the house two at a time.

I can’t help but chase after him, my mouth dry. “Rowan, can we talk? Before we go inside, please. Can we just fucking talk?”

“I think the time for you to talk is long past,” he says. His voice is brittle, like one wrong move will break him. Like he’s barely holding the pieces together. “I’m only here because I want to know everything about Scott, and then I’m gone.”

“Wait.” I grab his arm, hauling him to a stop. I’m holding on to him far too tightly, but he doesn’t seem to notice either. Numb. He’s numb.

Fear clogs my throat so much I can’t draw breath. “What do you mean, gone?”

“You’re a smart man. I’m sure you can figure it out.”

No. He can’t mean…

“There you are.” Dalton steps out of the conference room and spots us in the foyer. “What’s wrong? We got the alarm call. Is everything okay?”

Rowan’s head whips around. “Are you asking as a Buckingham? Or as a member of The Firm?”

Understanding dawns on Dalton’s face. “Oh. Fuck. He wasn’t supposed to know.”

“Well I fucking do.” Rowan gives a hollow laugh while I just stand there, watching my whole world collapse around me. “I assume everyone’s already waiting?”

Rowan doesn’t wait for an answer, just shoves past Dalton into the meeting room. I’m right on his heels, almost crashing into him as he stops abruptly, my hands going to steady him, but he twirls away, not wanting to be connected to me. Not wanting me to touch, to hold. Instead, his gaze runs over Ansel’s face. Neo’s. Harley’s. A sheen covers his eyes, and I hear him sniffle. “I see. Just me in the dark. Great.”

Ansel flushes in shame, Cade putting his arm around his shoulders and hugging him.

Neo offers Rowan a pleading look. “We had to keep it a secret until we knew we could trust you.”

Rowan closes his eyes briefly. When he opens them, there’s no sign of the man I knew. The one I fell for. “To think I trusted you. All of you. God, what a fucking loser I am.”

Neo sinks down in his chair, making Wylder scowl at Rowan. “You’re not a loser. Not at all. But also, the fault isn’t on them. It was my decision to keep you in the dark. Family comes first.”

Rowan’s smile is anything but warm. “And I’m not part of the family. Don’t worry, Wylder, that’s crystal fucking clear. I mean, you did all agree to murder me, isn’t that right?”

Not a single one of us denies it.

We can’t.

I want to protest that he is part of the family. That he’s mine. That the past few weeks have been the happiest of my life.

But the words don’t come.

It shouldn’t matter—what came before. The idea that we were going to put him six feet under…

The thought of it… I can’t fucking breathe.

I can’t breathe.

Several of my brothers are looking at me pointedly. Dalton is actually tapping his temple, trying to get me to lock in, but I can’t. All my mind can focus on is how Rowan’s face looked when Adriana told him the truth I hoped he’d never learn.

“I asked them to kill you.”

Rowan has been sleeping under our roof. Socializing with us. Fucking me.

Falling for me.