Page 137 of The Monster and the Masochist

“I never thought I would see the day that Cassandra Walker didn’t know exactly what she wanted.”

I scoffed.

“Yeah. Tell that to Theo. She seems to have a very different opinion of me and my ability to know shit about myself.”

“You mean… sexually?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Any juicy details?”

I made a face. “Gross, Nolan. No. I’m not talking about my sexual exploits with you.”

He chuckled, shrugging.

“Hey, if my hot as fuck bestie has decided she’s going to be a lesbian, at least give me something to fantasize about.”

“One, we’re not besties. Two, don’t fetishize us. And three, people don’t decide to be gay, Nolan. God. You’re such a red pill douchebag.” I wrinkled my nose, and his brow pinched again.

He leaned back in his chair, looking baffled and upset.

“Okay, that was a bad joke. I seem to keep saying the wrong things.”

“Yeah. You do,” I growled, still annoyed with him.

He sighed. “I’ll try to do better… But, in the meantime, why don’t you take a few days off, Cass? Go home, be with your wife. I have things handled here. When you figure out what you want to do, I’ll follow your lead.”

“I can’t take days off, Nolan. In case you forgot, we’ve both been assigned to this case because we’re competing for partner. If Edmund and Vivian find out I’m not helping, they’ll pass me over for sure.”

“I’ll just tell them you had a bad case of diarrhea or something. No one ever thinks twice about a case of the runs.” He smirked.

“Ew, Nolan!”

He ducked to avoid getting smacked in the head by the pen I threw in his direction.

“Easy, no need to take it out on the pens, that was a Montblanc!” He gave me a mock expression of horror. However, when I made it clear I wasn’t in the joking mood, he turned serious again.

“Cass. I’ll handle it. I promise I won’t make you look bad.”

I narrowed my eyes on him, still not convinced.

He sobered further, and that concerned crease formed again on his brow.

“Look. I meant what I said in your condo, Cass. I think you’re incredible. You’re clearly not into me like that, and I’m not desperate enough to keep chasing someone who obviously has it bad for someone else. I do have some self-respect.”

I rolled my eyes, muttering a bitchy ‘could have fooled me,’ but he continued.

“That doesn’t change the fact that I respect the hell out of you and think you deserve to have your name on that wall.

“There will be other chances for me to make a partner. I’m young, hot, talented, and I have a huge dick. The cards are stacked in my favor. We may not be besties, but I do consider you to be a friend. Probably my only friend. Consider this me trying to make up for being a bigoted asshole and saying that out of pocket shit about your wife.”

He looked so sincere that I found the corner of my mouth twitching, but I hid it behind my coffee cup under the guise of taking a sip.

“First of all, your dick isn’t that big. I’ve seen it. I’ll give you average at best.”

His own lip tilted up in amusement as I continued to eye him suspiciously. “And honestly, if I’m your only friend, that’s a massive red flag, Nolan. I hear I’m a huge cunt.”

He burst out laughing, and I grinned as he wiped a literal tear from his eye. Shaking his head, he made a shooing motion with one of the legal pads he’d been scribbling in.

“Go home, Cass. Leave Reverend Dickwad to me.”

Iwas feeling like absolute shit, which wasn’t surprising, considering the way I’d been treating my body lately.