Page 140 of The Monster and the Masochist

“It’s not a big deal. I’m fine… I’ll replace the wine,” I muttered into my palms, but Cassandra refused to let me hide. She peeled my hands away from my face and curled a finger under my chin, tilting my face up to meet her gaze.

“Stop lying to me, Theodora. You are not fine. This is not the kind of behavior you’d expect from someone who’s ‘fine.’”

My eyes burned, and my lip trembled as she calmly watched me fall apart. She held me like that for a long moment, and after I realized she really wasn’t going to let it go, I finally caved.

“I’m afraid if I tell you the truth, you’ll look at me differently… Or think I’m even more fucked up than you already do.” My voice cracked as I spoke, and it felt like my throat was full of glass.

Her eyebrows raised in surprise, and I winced. But after a beat, she did the last thing I expected.

She let out a breathy laugh and shook her head in disbelief.

“If you think I have a right to throw stones at anyone for being fucked up, you must not have noticed that I live in the glassiest of glass houses.”

I frowned, scoffing.

“No, you don’t, Cassandra. You live in a fucking penthouse. You’re a successful, powerful lawyer with her whole life put together. I bet you have a 401K and a ten-year plan.”

She shot me an amused look and shrugged.

“Yeah. I have all those things. I also have a sentient voice in my head that tells me to kill people.”

I blinked.

It felt like her condo shrank three sizes and the air turned thick with a loaded silence.

“Is that why you… sometimes refer to yourself as ‘we?’” I asked carefully. I’d suspected there was something going on there. I’d assumed she had some sort of alter ego that she sometimes morphed into, but I hadn’t realized it was a whole separate entity in her mind.

Cass nodded, shooting me an amused look. “Yeah… I call it my monster.”

I cocked my head to the side, suddenly grinning like an idiot.

“Does it have a real name? We can’t just call it your monster. People are going to think we’re insane.”

Cass frowned at me, looking adorably confused.

“Theo… we are insane. And I mean… Yeah, it probably does have a name. I’ve just never really–”

“I think we should call it Sue,” I said matter-of-factly. “It feels like a Sue.”

Cassandra’s eyes widened slightly, and she stared at me like I was the one hearing voices.

“It… hates that idea.”

She winced slightly at what I imagined was an enraged barrage of protests from the sentient voice in her head. “No. We definitely can’t call it Sue. I’ll never get a moment of peace.”

I snickered, rolling my one good eye and snuggling back deeper into my pillows.

“Jeeze. Sue is so sensitive. No wonder it’s always trying to kill people. I’d be a murderous asshole too if I didn’t know how to regulate my emotions.”

Cassandra’s lip kicked up at the side, and she let out a breathy chuckle before leaning forward to skate a kiss across my forehead.

My toes curled under the blanket, and I sighed happily, feeling more balanced now that the mood had decidedly been lightened.

“Mmm, not sure you’re equipped to lead a master class on regulating emotions either, sweet girl. But I appreciate the sentiment.”

My cheeks flushed at her words, but she kissed my blushing face there too, and I let out a small, happy sound I’d never made before as she gently showered me with tiny pieces of affection.

Finally, after she’d gently kissed every inch of my bruised face, Cass leaned back to look at me.