Page 143 of The Monster and the Masochist

Maybe it would make it easier for her the next time I flew off the rails…

Maybe… Maybe it would make it easier for me if I weren’t the only one holding onto the dark, heavy secret…

“Okay…” I croaked, snuggling her as close to me as possible.

I could feel her heart beating against my chest, and it was so steady and strong.

I could do this.

I could tell her.

I swallowed.

“I… I’ve never told anyone this before. It’s really hard for me to talk about. I might… I might react badly.”

I peeked down at her, and she was watching me with the most open, understanding look on her face.

“I’m right here. I’ll hold you the whole time. I’m not going to judge you, Theodora. I’m going to take care of you. Always.”

Shifting to my side slightly so our noses were almost touching, I tried to ignore the way my heart was slamming against my ribs as if it were trying to beat a hole through my chest.

I’m going to take care of you.

Always.

Always.

Always.

…Why did I believe her?

“Alright. But if I tell you this, you have to promise not to ask me to go after him or something. I don’t want to pursue any sort of legal action. You have to promise to respect that.”

Cass pursed her lips, and the darkness in her eyes told me she didn’t like my condition, but to my relief, she gave me a slow nod.

“I promise I won’t ask you to take legal action. Not unless you want me to.”

“Thank you,” I breathed.

And then, for the first time in my life, I trusted someone with the secret that had been trying to kill me since I was eleven years old.

Alexa Play: She Wants To Know by Half Moon Run

Theo’s voice was level and her delivery flat as she said nineteen words that made my whole world stop fucking spinning.

Her dark eyes seemed to glaze over, and it was as if whatever made her Theo fled her body. She was a shell of the woman I knew as she spoke, and I coiled protectively around her in an attempt to keep her from breaking before my very eyes.

“The first time he touched me, I was eleven years old. The last time it happened, I was fourteen.”

Nineteen words.

It only took nineteen words to break nearly twenty years of abstinence.

Because as those words left Theodora’s lips, I knew I was going to kill again.

One by one, they rolled over me, and with each syllable, it was like the world around us lost a little more color.

Anger wasn’t new for me.