Page 5 of The Monster and the Masochist

Three good things…

But… the issue was, Father Samwell was trying to teach me a lesson.

I was supposed to like this, and he made it almost impossible for me to pretend he wasn’t there.

So, instead of thinking of three good things, I always disappeared into my own mind, floating alone in a sea of nothing while I waited for it to end.

Once he was done with me, he looked up like he always did, but I refused to meet his gaze. I stared at the snake plant in the corner of his office, not wanting to see the horrifying, hard bulge I knew would be straining against the crotch of his pants.

“Such a naughty girl, Theodora,” he cooed, and I clenched my fists, willing the burning hot tears that had gathered in my eyes not to fall.

He released me before slowly getting to his feet and retreating to lean on the edge of his desk.

This next part sucked, but it was manageable because at least he wasn’t touching me anymore.

“How long should we have you stand for today?”

He wasn’t actually asking me, so I didn’t bother answering.

He made a show of checking his watch.

“Well, it’ll be lunch time soon. How about we go until four? I’ll send you home with a note, letting your father know why you’re late.”

I remained silent, already steeling myself for the next few hours I would need to endure standing here in these fucking heels.

“Theodora, you’re very lucky I’m willing to just give you detention. Assaulting another student is grounds for expulsion. I’m sure you don’t want to cause that kind of trouble for your father.”

His voice grew harsh as he settled heavily into the large leather seat behind his desk. My throat rolled as I choked back another rush of bile.

Three good things… Please, for the love of fuck, think of something good….

My throat was tight, and to my horror, more tears welled in my eyes as I was forced to stand there and pretend something horrible hadn’t just happened.

Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.

“Do you think standing until four seems like a fair punishment for assaulting another student? Answer me,” he grunted, his voice thick and breathy.

Forcing myself to swallow back my tears, I met his gaze dead on.

I hated him. I hated him, but I hated myself more.

Maybe if I weren’t so weak, he wouldn’t have chosen me…

But I was weak.

A weak, pathetic little freak that could barely stand up for her own brother, let alone herself.

I deserved this.

“Yes, Father,” I whispered, and he let out a ragged breath, as if my submission fed some sick part of him that even the devil himself wouldn’t condone.

“You look so pretty in those heels, Theodora,” he grunted.

This time, I didn’t respond.

I just stood there, trying to think of three good things.

But I couldn’t come up with a single one.