Page 22 of The True-Blue Romance

“Joey loves you.”

I swallow hard, feeling sick to my stomach suddenly. “Not the way I want.”

“He might,” Beau argues, with just a little hint of skepticism. “He might.”

“He can’t. He knows everything about me.”

Now Beau looks at me like I’m stupid, which makes my neck feel hot. “What’s that mean?”

“That means he can’t love me… Because… Because.”

Now he looks pissed. “Because what, Andrew?”

“Ain’t nobody ever loved me, Beau. Joey won’t love me.”

“Nobody has ever loved you, huh?”

Beau backs away as I hastily climb out of the truck. I feel like this conversation is getting away from me, and I don’t want to ruin the evening. I ruin everything, always have. I ruined my parents’ lives just by being born. It all started at birth.

“You know what I mean. Yeah, you and Cindy and Joey love me… your dad loved me. But no one is gonna be in love with me. I’m too much.”

Beau snorts, running his hands over his wiry beard. “You’re stupid as hell.”

Then he just… marches away. What? I run after Beau, suddenly needing closure for an argument I didn’t even want. I grab his arm to make him stop his warpath toward the hill where we host the movies.

“No, Beau, you tell me what you mean.”

“I’m telling you that you’re both a pair of idiots and I’m really tired of watching this train go past the station. You’re gonna be eighty, realizing you’ve been in love with each other your entire goddamn lives.”

I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut.

“You take that back!”

“Andrew, I love you, but someone has to tell you like it is and stop handling you with kid gloves. Now, you tell Joey what’s going on with your dad and see what he does to make you feel better.”

That hurts more than anything else. Because I know what Joey will do. He’ll swoop in, care for me, make me dinner and breakfast, do my laundry, go with me to see my father, and sit there as he yells shitty things to me. Joey will just grit his perfect jaw, hold my hand through it, all while withstanding my father’s homophobic tirades.

“All right.”

Beau’s eyebrows disappear into his hairline. “Huh?”

“I’ll tell him about Dad… I’ll tell him.”

Beau whistles, then gives me a winning smile. “That didn’t take as long as I thought. Come on, we’re showing My Big Fat Greek Wedding.”

“Oh, that’s one of my favorites.”

“I know,” Beau says with a pleased chuckle. He slings his arm over my shoulders and guides me along. “I love you. Sorry if I was tough.”

“It’s okay. You do it once a decade, so I forgive you.”

We exchange conciliatory smiles just as we reach the hill that’s already sprinkled with excited moviegoers. The smell of lemonade and popcorn wafts through the air, making my perpetually hungry stomach grumble. The food truck is lit up, Joey and Benji working inside, a small line forming at the window. My stomach twists at the sight of Marie leaning against the side of the truck, smiling and laughing with Joey. They’re cute together. Her dark waves, his dark curls, and laughs that light up a room. Marie is the sort of girl I always imagined for Joey because I don’t think she’d hate me as much as Danica always did.

I’m an expert in watching Joey flirt after all these years. He doesn’t look like he’s flirting with Marie, now that I pay closer attention. He looks… friendly. Maybe I should push him toward her so that he gets the hint. Sometimes he can be pretty oblivious and stupid when it comes to women having the hots for him. Men too, obviously, not that it matters much whether I like him or not. Not really.

Beau leads me toward his new group of friends and Trevor, who are all sitting on a large picnic blanket. I can’t help but smile at the sight of Harper tucked against the side of Jackson. Harper used to follow us around like he was attached to us when he was a kid. He’d always idolized his cousin Beau and seeing him so blissfully loved by the gentle giant, Jackson, makes me feel the same way I do when I see Beau and Trevor together. Happy for them but also a little morose because I’m so very lonely.

I’m still a little starstruck when I see Nolan Hastings around town though.