Page 31 of The True-Blue Romance

“I know.”

“I hate him,” I whisper, feeling like I’m uttering words that’ll get me killed.

“I do too,” Cindy says, her upper lip stern to hold back her own tears. “I hate him for what he did to you and I hate him for making David pull a shotgun on him to make him stop. And I hate that I couldn’t take you away from there, sweetheart. I do.”

“We did the best we could,” I say to avoid her feeling bad.

Cindy scoffs. “All of us could’ve done better. We could’ve. I tried to give you a home to run to that was like your grandma’s. Someplace to escape.”

She did give me that. She did. Both her and David, and Beau, and Joey and his family. I never felt like I didn’t have anywhere to go. It made my teen years much easier than they could’ve been.

“You did give me somewhere to go.”

Cindy pats my hand with a watery smile. “Well, all we can do now is fix it going forward. You don’t gotta go see him in that home. If you want someone to check up on him, I’ll do it. You tell me what you need. Or tell Beau. Or you could tell Joey.” Cindy stresses Joey’s name in a way it almost sounds like he’s my husband. I hate it. “Lee?”

“I gotta move on with my life… move on from Joey.”

Cindy stands with a sigh. “That’s a big conversation, kid. Let’s eat while we talk. We’ll feel better with full bellies.”

She’s probably right. I’ve never been good at making any sort of decision on an empty stomach. I watch with a rock-sized lump in my throat as Cindy fills two bowls with chicken and dumplings and brings them over to the table. I sigh as the savory, rich smell of the meal reaches my nose. One spoonful fixes everything. The tension leaks from my shoulders, and I’ve eaten half a bowl before I even realize it. Cindy smiles at me from over her bowl of the comfort meal she makes for me far more often than I’d like to admit.

“So, Joey?” Cindy prods.

I sigh wearily. “I can’t keep loving him. I gotta… let this go. It’s hurting Savannah.”

Cindy hums thoughtfully, eyes a little glazed over in thought. “Have you ever thought about talking to him? Seeing where he’s at?”

Now it’s my turn to scoff, earning myself a narrow-eyed stare from her. “I’m scared I’d ruin the friendship. I’d rather just… let him go. It’s better off for everyone.”

“I think Joey might not agree.”

“This isn’t Joey’s choice.”

Cindy laughs. “I think ending a twenty-year friendship because you’re in love with him is just as much his choice as yours. But I’m an old fuddy-duddy, so what do I know?”

“You know a lot,” I grumble before shoveling more food into my mouth.

“I just think talking to Joey might be worth it. Or, well…” Cindy makes a thoughtful face before whispering, “Or listening to him when he speaks.”

“I guess.”

“But your dad might be the easier thing to handle.”

“In time,” I say.

“In time,” Cindy agrees.

We finish our dinner and move on to dessert. Red velvet cake is one of my favorite desserts of hers, not counting her famous hummingbird cake. It’s sweet and coats my mouth, somehow fighting back the melancholy that’s been choking me lately. By the time the sun is set and it’s time to head home, I have a container of chicken and dumplings and a covered plate of red velvet cake. Cindy hugs me by the front door, tight and a little painful, but I hug her just as hard back.

When I pull away, she pats my cheek, giving me a soft, trembling smile. “You grew up to be such a good boy, Lee. You really did. Your grandmother would be so proud of you.”

“I always wanna make her proud.”

Cindy kisses my cheek. “You did. Remember what I said. Try listening to Joey when he talks, okay? Sometimes we say things we really mean when we’re faced with losing the ones we love.”

“Okay,” I grumble, and she laughs at me as I head toward my truck. I send a final wave her way as I turn around in the driveway and watch her disappear in the rearview mirror.

Maybe listening to Joey has its merits, but sometimes he says more with his silence, and I’ve become an expert at listening to the quiet more than his words.