Page 32 of The True-Blue Romance

My stomach twists as I walk toward my dad’s room in the memory care facility. In some ways the short walk feels like a death march, like the beginning of the end. This will be the first time I’ve seen him since he was brought in. I get reports from the nurses and doctors, letting me know that he’s adjusting well, but I want to see for myself. The father I know is violent and unkind, but the nurses seem to adore him, so what the hell do I know.

“Mister Bradley, you have a visitor,” Chandra says as she knocks on his door and lets me in.

My father is sitting in a recliner, gaze a little distant, but he smiles at the sound of her voice. “My favorite nurse.”

“You say that to every nurse,” Chandra teases with a wink.

She disappears out the door, leaving me alone with my father. He stares at me for a moment, until he finally smiles widely. “David!”

Ah. Okay. The doctors told me not to argue with him on days he doesn’t recognize me. Just go with it and spend time with him. It’ll always be a little unsettling, though, to not see the anger in his eyes just at the very sight of me.

“Hi, Alfred.” I take a seat in the chair opposite him. I rub my sweaty palms on my jeans and clear my throat awkwardly, not exactly sure what to say. “How’s it going?”

“Call me Alfie.”

“Okay.”

Dad smiles and rocks gently in his chair. “You must be home from the military. How long is your leave this time?”

“A couple of months,” I lie.

Dad sighs in sympathy. “Me too. But mine’s permanent this time. They say I have PTSD. Almost piss myself every time I hear a gunshot.”

“Oh.”

He taps the side of his head. “I’m a nut job.”

“No, that’s probably not true. Being a veteran is difficult.”

“I’m ready to start a family anyway, settle down.”

“That sounds nice. I heard you’ve been painting.”

Dad points to the canvas beside the television. On it is a painting of a cow out to graze, the sun rising behind it. It looks like my grandma’s farm. The fact he can remember things like that but not remember his own son will always boggle my mind. But maybe him not remembering me anymore is the kindest thing.

We sit in silence for a while, and it seems like he’s forgotten I’m there with the way he watches NASCAR on the television. I sit quietly and watch the cars go round and round with him for a while. When I stand to leave, he doesn’t pay me any mind. I leave the room quietly, closing the door shut behind me. I wander over to the nurses’ desk to find the same nurse from earlier.

“So?” I ask Chandra, because I don’t know what else to ask.

“He’s doing better, less violent now that he’s used to his surroundings. Have you seen the reports from the doctors?”

“Uhm, yes. His liver?”

“Not too good,” Chandra says, voice a little pitying. “Seeing him on a frequent basis might be the best idea for now.”

“All right.”

I muster the best smile I can, but it must seem fake because Chandra pats my hand. When I leave the home, the air is damp and warm, dark clouds filling the sky. May brings the rainy season in Florida, so the rain will surely come, dumping down on us with fierce punishment. Hard to get work done at the farm in the rainy season, but it’s a good time to do some office work, meet with the guys to discuss any problems. Now that I’ve been promoted, Beau wants me taking on more managerial duties versus being out in the field as much. Hard for me to do it, though, because I belong out in the dirt more than I belong under the fluorescent lights of the office.

I climb into the work truck with a sigh. It’s an hour drive back to the farm, but the drive isn’t too bad, considering I’m driving out of the city instead of into it. The rain starts to fall in gentle bursts. A rainbow cuts through the sky, guiding me home. I idly tap my fingers against the wheel as classic Reba filters through the speakers. It’s been two weeks since I saw Joey last. Two weeks since Savannah wept and asked me why I can’t be her other dad, why she can’t live at the farm every day. It killed me to tell Joey, to watch his face filter through more emotions than I could parse in a matter of seconds. But it’s for the best. Everything is too much right now. My lovesick heart needs a damn break.

The parking lot is bustling when I pull in. The rain is a drizzle now, and there’s a wedding ceremony later this evening, so the lot is overrun with white vans for wedding prep. Beau and his sister, Andy, are talking amongst themselves just outside the office when I come up on them.

Beau smiles tightly at me, while Andy just winks.

“Are you gonna help me with the wedding tonight?” Andy asks with a teasing smile.

“For the right fee.”