Page 73 of Never Too Late to Date

‘I’m not going to cry any more. I’m bored of crying. And I’m fed up to the back teeth with saying sorry. I am sorry for the way it happened, but everyone’s acting as if this is solely my mistake, and it’s just me that messed up.’

Vicky kept her response to a slow nod.

‘OK, it is mainly me, but Christian has to take some of the blame.’

Vicky had a few questions about the situation, but they’d have to be asked carefully. Anything too full-on would spook Suzie in the state she was in.

‘That must be very annoying… Have you spoken to your eldest son today?’

‘No, and I’m just going to let him stew for a while. Gianni has always been better left alone until he’s ready to talk. My other son’s with him now. Thank God it was this way round. Kosta would have gone berserk if I’d had to break the same news to him. He’s got a much more volatile nature.’

A seagull flying overhead, squawking away, distracted both of them for a moment.

‘Although…’ Suzie gulped back a tear. ‘In some ways Gianni’s control is worse. I can see he’s suffering and he won’t let me help him.’

‘And your ex-husband – Panos, isn’t it? – knows everything too?’

‘Yes. That’s where I’ve just come from.’

‘And what about this Christian guy, the baby daddy?’

She’d used the term to try and make Suzie laugh. But it had failed miserably by the look on her friend’s face.

‘Oh yes, he’s fully in the picture. I have no idea what he really wants, or how long he’s planning to stay on the island, and that’s what scares me. Even I can see that we have to talk sometime, but I’m being a bit of a coward and waiting for him to make the first move.’

Vicky had to say it.

‘OK, but what if people see him around town and put two and two together? Isn’t it better to get it over with?’

Suzie’s bleak look almost made her wish she hadn’t asked.

‘I’m hoping that people who aren’t looking for it won’t have a clue, but I’m not sure if I’m just kidding myself.’

Answering the final question had taken it out of Suzie, and she slumped forward and sank her head onto her chest.

‘I just want to be able to protect both my sons from the fall-out.’

There was no point giving her friend platitudes promising everything would be all right. Vicky knew only too well that sometimes it wasn’t.

‘It’ll take time for Gianni, in particular, to adjust to this new reality. But he knows deep down that you love him.’

She’d seen Suzie with the boys, so she was on safe ground there. Her friend’s make-up-free face, free of its usual black eyeliner and stained with tears, made her look little more than a child herself.

‘I’m not sure he does know at the moment. Protecting our children from harm is surely a mother’s role. I feel like I’ve failed completely.’

Vicky grabbed her friend’s hand.

‘Now you’re just being silly. From the little I’ve seen of them, your boys are both lovely, well-rounded men, and that’s yours and Panos’s doing.’

Suzie’s head shot up, her dark brown eyes huge in her head.

‘I couldn’t make it work with him either.’

‘Listen. You had twenty-plus years together. That’s a lot more than some people manage. Keeping secrets is exhausting. You allowed the boys to become men, good men, before you walked away. I totally respect and understand that, more than you know.’

Vicky pulled Suzie to her feet. It was time she let her friend into her life a little more. Suzie had opened up to her on the deepest level, and she wanted to return the favour. Everyone had their secrets, and sometimes it helped to talk. She didn’t believe wholeheartedly in the maxim ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, as her grandmother had been fond of saying, but any fraction was a win.

‘Let’s walk along the beach a little way.’