Page 37 of The Jealous Girl

‘Okay,’ I said, pushing myself to my feet. ‘I’ll call the hotel and cancel the wedding.’

Ryan froze. ‘The wedding,’ he repeated slowly as realisation sank in. ‘All that work, that planning…’

Something flickered in his expression. A slight hesitation. A moment of confliction.

And, for a brief second, I thought he might disagree. Tell me no. We’d find a way to do both. That the wedding mattered. We mattered.

But he didn’t. He couldn’t. It wasn’t possible, I knew that. There was only one thing that mattered right now. His dad.

He shook his head. ‘I can’t think about that.’

I tried not to flinch. ‘Of course not,’ I said quickly.

And yet I couldn’t not think about it. Part of me needed to know that cancelling was as devastating for him as it was for me. But that wasn’t fair. He had his dad to think about. He was his priority right now.

And Ryan was mine.

‘You book our flights,’ I said, forcing my voice to sound steady and calm. ‘I’ll take care of everything else.’

Ryan nodded slightly. ‘Yeah, okay. I can do—wait, our flights?’

‘I’m coming with you.’ The words came without hesitation.

He blinked. ‘You are?’

I nodded even though my head felt heavy. ‘Of course. We’re a team.’

Ryan’s shoulders dropped slightly, relief softening his features. And, in that moment, I knew I’d made the right decision.

Even if it was the last thing I wanted.

‘What do you think would have happened if we’d come back here after Dad got out of the hospital?’

My gaze snapped back to Ryan as I pulled myself out of the past. ‘How could we?’ I asked. ‘He was still fragile. He needed to rest. Your mum needed your support. The stables⁠—’

‘You needed me too.’

I froze as his words hung between us. Accurate but devastating.

‘Not in the same way,’ I said carefully.

Ryan nodded. His parents’ needs had been more urgent. More compelling. Whereas mine were what they had always been. Avoidable.

He traced his finger absently along the rim of his glass.

‘Mum blamed you for me coming here after the exams instead of going home. It wasn’t what they’d expected.’ He exhaled slowly. ‘She was disappointed in me.’

‘You’d never done that before,’ I said with sudden clarity. ‘Disappointed her.’

He shook his head. ‘It was the first time I’d ever done something without her approval. Without thinking about what the stables needed. What they needed.’

Something shifted inside me, like a knot loosening a little. ‘I didn’t know you were under that pressure.’

Ryan shrugged, but it felt too stiff. Too forced. ‘It’s not like it’s a bad thing, right?’ he asked. ‘To be wanted? Needed?’

‘Loved?’ I finished for him.

Ryan smiled ruefully. ‘Even if it is a little too much at times.’