Page 38 of The Jealous Girl

I frowned as his words circled in my brain without landing. How could it be possible to be loved too much?

‘I guess coming here felt like a way out from everything waiting for me back home.’

I nodded. That, I understood. The pull of escape. The need to get away from other people’s expectations.

For him, they expected success.

For me…

Failure.

‘And then, when graduation got closer,’ Ryan said, his voice quieter now, ‘the thought of giving all this up and going back…’

‘You couldn’t do it.’

He shook his head. ‘Neither could you.’

Silence settled between us again. Not uncomfortable. Just honest.

‘And when we did go back…’ Ryan’s voice trailed off.

I held my breath.

He shook his head slightly, as though he couldn’t quite find the words.

‘We didn’t handle it very well,’ I suggested tentatively.

‘No,’ he agreed. ‘We didn’t.’

He leaned forwards, reaching for my hand across the table.

I froze as his fingers brushed mine. His touch warm and familiar.

A few days ago, I would have pulled away without thinking. But now my fingers entwined around his.

It felt like we were cracking open something I’d spent two years trying to keep shut. All the hurt, the disappointment, the loss – all the things I’d feared would break me.

But, this time, instead of overwhelming me, crushing me, it felt like maybe, just maybe, I could finally let them go.

15

NOW

Late August

Tuesday

The road stretched out ahead of me, still quiet before the rush-hour traffic, as I headed back towards Swanage. But all I could see was the image of Charlotte slipping her hand in Ryan’s.

I snorted softly. Charlotte was occupying my thoughts too much recently. I missed the days before we’d moved down here. When I hadn’t known she existed. When my life hadn’t been shaped by her.

Corfe Castle rose into view in the distance. The stone ruins had always been dark and mysterious, but now they held something else. A secret. Charlotte’s.

Why had she met David Harcourt there?

Was it the first time?

What had been in that envelope?