Page 59 of Shadowing You

She’d stumbled into the empty room and crawled beneath the sheets, alone. When she’d woken in the dark a few hours later and reached for him, his side of the bed had been smooth and cold. Thinking he’d fallen asleep watching TV, she’d looked into the living room, but it had been dark, the TV off, the sofa empty.

Fear had crawled up her spine. Had he left? Or had something happened to him?

A quick peek into the second bedroom told her what had really happened. He’d chosen not to sleep with her. When she’d returned to her bedroom, she’d discovered that he’d crept in, taken the things he’d need to shower and dress the next morning, and crept back out.

The kettle ticked as it heated, steam beginning to seep from the spout.

Lord, what is happening?

She didn’t hear an answer, but God was with her. “The Lord sees you,” Āyí had whispered for years. “The Lord knows you. The Lord loves you.”

Mei Lin pulled two mugs from the cabinet, hoping Ethan would emerge soon—and that he’d again be the man she’d married.

Six years ago, she’d never known her husband to watch television. If they were together, they were talking, and holding hands or nestled against each other. On their honeymoon, he’d stood at the window of their suite in this very city and pointed at various sights and asked her to name every one of them in Mandarin so he could say the words back to her. He always got them wrong, on purpose, she thought, to make her laugh.

Last night he’d barely looked at her.

It was this trip to Fuyin. He was worried. Maybe that was all it was, but why not sleep beside her? Had he gotten so accustomed to sleeping alone that he preferred it now?

Or…or had he not been sleeping alone for the past six years?

The kettle clicked off.

She poured steaming water over tea bags, forcing her mind to shift. She was thankful she wasn’t in prison. Soon, God willing, she’d have the evidence she’d collected, and she’d turn the files over to someone who could bring Lu Feng to justice. Soon, she hoped, she’d have a visa and would be able to go to America with Ethan.

Unless Ethan didn’t want her anymore, then…

What? What would her life be?

She had wondered more than once in the last few days what his years alone in the States had looked like. She’d felt worries like tiny threads wrapping around her heart.

Last night, lying alone in the cold bed, she’d pulled a few of those threads.

Had Ethan moved on without her? Six years was a long time. Had he met someone? Had he fallen in love with another woman?

Behind her, the door of the second bedroom opened, but she didn’t turn to greet him. She wasn’t ready to face his anger, or his apathy.

She heard him cross the small sitting room, then felt him right behind her.

His hand slid over her shoulder. “Good morning.”

She fought the urge to lean back against his solid chest and instead stepped away. “Did you sleep well?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Your tea is ready.” She crossed to the windows and sat in the chair where he’d sat the night before. A chair for one.

Staring at the floor, she told herself to hold it together. She would be the woman Ethan had married, not the pathetic shell of herself that prison had created. She would ask her questions in a steady voice and accept whatever answers came. She was strong. With God’s help, she would survive, no matter what he said.

She finally gained the courage to look up at him.

He remained where she’d left him, tea untouched, hands in his pockets, sadness written on his face. He wore the suit pants and a crisp white button-down, open at the collar. His hair was damp and combed, and he’d shaved. He looked like the husband she’d fallen in love with, so handsome and strong and kind.

Her eyes filled, and she tried to blink the tears back. She lowered her face and swiped the moisture away.

She heard the gentle swish of his slacks.

“Mei Lin.”