Page 85 of The Way We Are Now

‘I loved you, Theo. I’d have done anything to stay with you.’

‘Given up your master’s degree, your law studies? Given up your London dream? You’re not a country girl. We’d have ended up living separate lives. I’d have lost you.’

‘So you thought it best to make a clean break from me?’

Theo nodded miserably. ‘I didn’t know what else to do, Anna.’

‘I loved you, Theo.’

‘Anna, I’ve never stopped loving you.’

27

I knew I was in danger of walking over to Theo who sat opposite me on an old-fashioned leather Chesterfield, one leg crossed over the other, glass in his left hand, but drinking very little from it as he continued to hold my eye.

Instead, I looked away, sipping at my tea and said, ‘So do bring me up to date on the past twenty years of your life.’

‘What is this? This Is Your Life?’

‘My mum’s never got over Eamonn Andrews not being on any more…’ Jesus, what was the matter with me, wittering on about a dead Irish TV presenter?

‘Anna, stop it. Talk to me.’

‘No, I really want to know. If you didn’t marry Susannah of the Mounties, who did you persuade to marry you and live on the estate?’

‘She didn’t need much persuading!’ Theo gave up a short bark of laughter. ‘So, I’m married to Honor and we have two boys, Angus and Miles. I utterly love my boys. They make my life worth living.’

‘Of course, why wouldn’t they?’

‘And I’ve fashioned a life for myself on the estate. I do as much as I can on the farms – would much rather be outside than selling souvenirs in the gift shop – and I’m happy to be up in the north in my wellies, driving a tractor. The estate and the hall are used a lot for filming – there’s always some sort of film crew around. It helps keep the place standing and my wife loves having famous actors floating about, so I leave all that side of the business up to her.’

‘Summerton,’ I said. ‘I watched it on TV.’

Theo nodded. ‘Did you enjoy it?’

‘Not really my thing,’ I lied. Oh, for heaven’s sake, why couldn’t I tell Theo I’d adored every minute of it, had been glued each Sunday evening to the TV, trying to work out which bits of the estate and the hall I’d been into myself? I was convinced I’d recognised the bedroom I’d been allocated at the hunt ball, now masquerading as servants’ quarters in the drama.

‘And Mary? How’s Mary?’

‘She lives with us and helps out in the farm shop as much as she can. She loves having the film crews round as well. She’s happy, safe and loved.’

‘I liked Mary enormously.’

‘I know you did. She asked after you for many years.’

‘And why are you here now? In London?’

‘I’ve always loved coming down to Holland Park. I love the opera in the park here. Even like the squirrels.’ He smiled and then sighed. ‘There’s always some banker or tax inspector down here to appease.’

‘Appease?’

‘You know how it is.’

‘Not really.’

When Theo didn’t elaborate, I said, ‘And the Hunt Ball?’

Theo laughed. ‘Not every year, as Dad always insisted. We had one at the Millenium, but that was the last one.’