Page 13 of Christmas, Actually

He nodded slowly and Clara waited for him to smile, expected relief to flood his face before he told her he had an emergency he had to attend so he could make his escape.

Only he didn’t smile and he didn’t move, nor did he conjure up an excuse. Instead, he folded his arms, tightening them across his chest as if he were trying to hold something in.

‘I really am sorry, and I mean it.’ Liam paused, the seriousness of his expression, the tension in his body such a contrast to the jolly, sexy outfit he was wearing. ‘Because I know exactly how you feel. My wife cheated on me.’

‘You do; I mean she did?’ Clara asked, almost tripping over the words because they’d surprised her so thoroughly. ‘What is she – an idiot?’

‘No.’ He shook his head, searching her face. His eyes were serious and for the first time since they’d bumped into each other, Clara couldn’t see hints of flirty amusement, she could only see hurt. Was Liam just as broken as she was?

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ she asked gently, taking a step forward. She reached down and picked up the box of tissues and held them out. ‘For you, just in case.’

He shook his head as his smile returned. ‘I’m all good. I’m not going to cry. It was a long time ago. I just wanted you to know that you’ll get over it and that he’s not worth your time. Don’t go wasting your tears on someone who couldn’t be faithful. You deserve better. We both do.’ He sighed.

Clara was about to ask more. Was he still married? He still wasn’t wearing a ring – but had things been sorted? Exactly what had happened and how had he handled this visceral ache, this feeling that he wasn’t enough? The questions tumbled through her mind, and she had to seal her mouth together so she didn’t ask any of them. His expression had changed again – the window into his heart had been blacked out. She gazed at him, her insides swirling. How had this attraction already rooted itself so strongly? She couldn’t give into it. However Hudson was behaving, she was still engaged. Still wanted her fiancé to apologise.

‘How about we get on with practising this song?’ he asked. ‘I’ll put the music on again. Louder this time.’

‘Why don’t we,’ Clara replied, oddly relieved that he’d changed the subject. She glanced back at her mobile which was still in her hand. She wasn’t going to answer Hudson yet – Liam was right, she did deserve better.

So for the first time in their relationship she was going to let him come to her – she was going to ignore every cell in her body that was screaming at her to respond, telling her if she didn’t, she’d just be encouraging him to jump straight back into Abigail’s arms. She had to be strong. To wait for him to admit that he’d been lying. Because she knew he had – through to her core. And if he wouldn’t admit it now, there was no way they’d be able to move on. No way that she’d be able to forgive him and return to her life in New York.

Only as Liam went to find a speaker so he could connect his phone and play the song again, she wondered if returning to her old life was what she wanted, after all…

9

LIAM

Three weeks until Christmas

Liam stood outside the windows of Sugarplum Cakes & Bakes and gazed at the posters featuring the pictures Ezra had taken of him and Clara. Liam drew closer so he could study the detail in the photo. The red dress suited Clara, the tiara too, and he got a jolt in his chest every time he remembered that morning in The Cosy Christmas Shop, even though it had been almost a week since their blurted confessions. A week since he’d caught more than a glimpse of her in Eleanor’s cosy apartment.

Liam still couldn’t believe he’d told Clara about Mia’s affair. He usually kept himself locked down – he didn’t have space in his life for confidences; his whole focus was his son. But there had been something about her pain-filled green eyes and tear-streaked face that had got to him. It had stirred up so many feelings, releasing a cork from the emotions he’d bottled up – and now he wasn’t sure how to return them to their rightful home, or how to tie down the gaggle of thoughts he didn’t want to have.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. He’d received more odd messages over the last few days, each equally cryptic. He’d texted back, called and had eventually blocked the number, but another text had arrived from a new number within a few hours. So his plan was to simply ignore them now.

‘Are you going to stand there all day?’ Ezra asked as he stopped to join him on the cobbled pavement outside the café. At Liam’s feet, Figgy let out a muffled bark. The dog had barely unclamped his jaws from the plush Christmas pudding toy Eleanor had given him and had little interest in anyone’s clothes now. Which was good because the bookshop owner was wearing a very smart woollen coat.

‘Nope, I was just thinking,’ Liam told him, taking in the camera Ezra had slung around his neck. ‘Looks like it’s going to be busy today.’ He nodded towards the café window. Inside, people had already begun collecting around the multiple chrome tables and more were queuing along the long glass counter, waiting for drinks and food.

He could see Hazel Cake, Eleanor’s older sister who owned the café, making coffee on a large shiny machine while her twin boys, Danny and Sam, worked beside her. The boys were both fifteen and handsome with long, rangy limbs they’d grow into eventually. Even from here Liam could see they were arguing about something. He had a sudden flashback to the regular fights he’d had with Graham and quickly pushed the memory away.

‘I heard the event is sold out.’ Ezra nodded at the pictures advertising their appearance. ‘I’m not surprised, you make quite the couple. Your Mrs Christmas is really stunning. And I say that in a behind-the-camera, not interested at all perspective,’ he added, his voice suddenly tight with embarrassment. ‘I’m not looking for a relationship, so she’s all yours. And even if I was looking –’ He frowned. ‘– she’s too young for me. I’m done with age gaps.’

‘I’m not on the market either,’ Liam said, marvelling at how much the older man had just given away. Ezra had been living in the Cotswolds for seven months. He’d moved down from Scotland and had quietly taken over the bookshop, spreading his passion for reading throughout the village – quickly becoming a favourite with the locals. But he didn’t talk about his past or his personal life, ever. Liam had often wondered if he’d come to Hollythorpe to escape from something.

Seemed like they were all trying to escape from something here.

Ezra clearly wasn’t interested in Liam’s story – or perhaps he already knew it, as tongues wagged at double speed in small villages – because he simply nodded. ‘Do you want to go in?’ He tugged his coat tighter and nodded up at the sky. ‘I think it’s going to snow again soon.’

It was certainly cold enough. The temperature had been dropping over the last week, and the bookmakers were starting to take serious bets on a white Christmas. If they had one, it would be the first in years.

‘Sure,’ Liam said, glancing over his shoulder. ‘I thought Eleanor would be here by now with the sound system.’ He didn’t mention Clara in case it gave Ezra the wrong idea – but he still found himself gazing down the meandering high street, hoping to catch a glimpse.

‘Eleanor’s probably too busy planting elves in my shop,’ Ezra said dryly. ‘I found two this morning covered in tinsel, and she’d somehow sneaked another beside the till with a mini bottle of booze.’ He looked baffled. ‘I’m not sure what the lass is trying to achieve.’

She wants to make you laugh because you always seem so sad, Liam thought, but he didn’t say anything. ‘Let’s go in,’ he muttered, pulling his own coat tighter so he didn’t show any of the suit. He wasn’t wearing his hat yet and the trousers were mostly hidden. There was no point in breaking the festive spell before they’d even begun.

‘What about the dog?’ Ezra asked as they reached the entrance. ‘Aren’t there health and safety rules?’