Page 18 of Christmas, Actually

I know it’s probably a surprise to hear from me after all this time. I wanted to get in touch, but I was embarrassed. I understand you’re probably angry with me. I have no excuses, except that I was young and realised I didn’t want to be a parent and you weren’t sympathetic. It was a lot. These things happen and I’ve forgiven myself for being human, so I hope you can too. I’d like to meet up to talk. About us and also I want to see Charlie. I’m in a better place now and, well, you know, two parents and all that.

I’ve included my email, temporary address and mobile number. I’ll wait to hear from you. Please get in touch or I might have to come to another of your events.

Mia xxx

P.S. Give Charlie a kiss and tell him Mummy says hi.

Liam read the letter through for about the twentieth time, feeling sick before rising from his bed and shoving the envelope back into the pocket of his Mr Christmas suit. He didn’t know why he was keeping it there. It’s not like Charlie would find it if he left it out, or be able to read it and make any sense of the request – but for some reason he didn’t want him to even see the words.

He wasn’t sure why – except he was overprotective and everything about Mia reappearing again was setting off all his parental alarms. The ones that told him that she’d leave again and hurt his son, the ones that told him he should probably run.

He frowned. He’d have to set a date to meet and only hoped she was telling the truth about not accosting him. He trotted down the stairs and headed for the front door of his house, pausing momentarily to glance at the Christmas tree that he’d managed to acquire the day before at Charlie’s insistence, which was sitting in the centre of the dishevelled sitting room.

It wasn’t decked out yet. He’d checked the attic twice and there definitely wasn’t a box of decorations. He must have thrown them out after Mia had left. There had probably simply been too many reminders of their life together – every bauble, fairy light or piece of tinsel would have represented a memory. So now he was going to make a fresh start. He’d go to The Cosy Christmas Shop soon and buy out the shop. And somehow in the middle of it all, he’d find time to see some customers. He grimaced. He was so behind on work.

He opened the door and glanced at Jenny’s house. His son was inside with her now – Figgy too. He felt guilty for asking her to babysit again – but there was nobody else to ask.

Things might be different if he let Mia back into his life, but, somehow, he doubted it. There was no real remorse in the letter, no self-recrimination or promises that she’d do better. It was more of the same – which meant she probably hadn’t changed. He sighed, then tapped his pocket to make sure the envelope was still there and headed for his truck. He’d think about what he was going to do about it – and her – some other time.

Evergreen House was a couple of miles outside of the main village. It was located in an old hotel and set in beautiful grounds with vast open areas of snow-sprinkled lawn with statues and fountains seemingly dotted everywhere. Today they’d all been decorated with copious amounts of tinsel – and there were long strings of lights hung around the gardens with bulbs that glowed in warm reds, greens and whites. Liam parked his truck in his usual spot. He was the go-to electrician for the home and often popped in to do odd jobs – and sometimes just to visit the residents with Figgy, many of whom he had a soft spot for.

As he approached the vast stone entrance, Liam saw Clara was waiting just inside dressed in her Mrs Christmas dress and he felt his stomach swoop, like it always did when he saw her now. ‘She’s engaged, you idiot,’ he muttered under his breath. ‘And you jumped in without thinking when you met Mia, don’t forget how that turned out.’

She looked stunning, though. The dress hugged her frame, drawing attention to her small waist. She wore the ruby tiara that Eleanor had found for her that day in The Cosy Christmas Shop. It was sitting on her sleek shoulder-length bob, and the stones were glittering underneath the twinkling lights hanging across the porch. There was mistletoe suspended there too, but he decided to ignore it – although Liam’s lips tingled, as if trying to remind him that they were still there. It had been so long since he’d used them for anything other than giving his son a peck on the cheek that he’d almost forgotten how it felt to kiss someone properly. To feel the warmth of a woman’s mouth on his.

‘Hi,’ Clara said shyly as he joined her. She looked nervous, but her eyes were bright. ‘How are you?’

‘I’m good,’ he murmured, suddenly wishing he could tell her everything. But this wasn’t the time or place and, somehow, he didn’t want to mar his relationship with his pretty, festive ‘wife’ with his boring woes. It’s not like Clara would be able to help anyway. Nobody could. ‘Did you hear from your fiancé yet?’ he found himself asking as jealousy made him clench his hands and shove them into his pockets. He wanted to kick himself when her smile disappeared.

‘Not yet,’ she said.

What kind of idiot was this Hudson and why did she put up with him?

‘We should probably go inside now.’ She nodded behind her, towards the main hallway. ‘Eleanor’s waiting, she’s already set up. Nora dropped off the gifts for the residents earlier and Joe has Bugs – he’s doing some magic tricks for everyone now, he’s really quite brilliant.’ Her eyes lit up at the idea. ‘Ezra’s running late, he’s coming with Hazel.’ She grinned. ‘Eleanor told me she hid four elves in his bookshop this morning and he’s trying to find them before he leaves.’

Liam chuckled, suddenly feeling more cheerful. Despite his life being in danger of imploding, Hollythorpe was still spinning on the same axis. Nothing had changed.

‘Where’s Figgy?’ Clara looked around.

‘I left him with my neighbour,’ he admitted. ‘He gets a bit overexcited when he comes here. There’s a little too much velvet, lace and chintz.’ Also, all the residents wanted to pet him and he tended to steal the show. ‘I’m going to bring him for a special visit soon.’

She gave him an odd look. One that said she wasn’t sure if she believed him.

‘You can come if you like?’ The offer came from nowhere and he gaped, a little startled at himself.

Her eyebrows squeezed together. ‘What, with you?’ she asked slowly.

‘Well…’ Liam started, tongue-tied at the idea of spending more time with Clara.

‘You’re here!’ Eleanor suddenly boomed, saving him from giving an answer. ‘We’re all set up. Joe’s just doing some card tricks now. I thought you could start with the song again.’ She nodded at Clara. ‘The manager of this place wants everyone to be able to join in. There are going to be loads of refreshments – Hazel’s bringing extra cake – and they’ve set up a stage area for you. Everyone will get a gift and –’ She pulled a face. ‘– you might find they want to dance too. Just go with it if they do, a lot of them are surprisingly light on their feet.’ She grinned. ‘You might even struggle to keep up.’

They both followed Eleanor as they made their way into the main lounge area. Liam had been here dozens of times, but it had been decorated since he’d last visited. Somehow someone had managed to cover the high ceilings with fairy lights and there were three Christmas trees set up across the great expanse. All decorated with perfectly coordinated blue and silver baubles and lights. Liam wished he could ask whoever had done it to do his house next.

The staff had set up a stage area next to the impressive open fireplace. The fire was roaring, and a multitude of velvet high-back chairs in various dark colours with lace doilies on the back had been arranged in rows facing the stage. Liam could see all of them were occupied and he recognised a lot of the faces. The audience were all being entertained by Joe, so no one noticed them enter. The magician was dressed in a black suit with a top hat and was doing card tricks while Bugs scampered between the chairs, stopping now and then by a set of feet in case they wanted to lean down and give him a stroke.

‘It smells of oranges and cinnamon in here,’ Clara whispered.

‘They put peelings in the fire,’ Liam told her. He loved the sweet fragrance, had often thought he’d do the same in his own home. Only he never seemed to get around to it. By the time the day ended and Charlie was in bed, he was usually too exhausted. Or perhaps it was because he’d be the only one to notice if he did it?