Page 28 of Christmas, Actually

He nodded.

‘Then you’ll know Hudson doesn’t deserve her. That girl has spent a lifetime being treated as if she isn’t good enough. She’s been undermined, lied to, ghosted, gaslit and now…’ She paused. ‘I expected better of you, actually.’ Her mouth set into a thin line.

Liam held up a palm. ‘I know. I’m sorry and that’s why I’m here to apologise.’ He glanced around the shop. ‘Although I do need to buy some decorations. Seems I must have thrown the lot out when Mia left and Charlie’s been harassing me non-stop about decorating the tree I bought.’ The one in his sitting room was still unadorned. His son had hung some of his toys over the branches this morning and even Figgy had tried to drape the plastic bone Nora had given him over a bow. If he needed a sign that he’d left it too long, they’d delivered that and triggered a huge rush of guilt at the same time.

‘Well…’ Eleanor’s expression softened. ‘I can certainly help with the decorations.’ She let out a long breath. ‘How about you go up to the flat? I’ll take care of Figgy.’ She held a hand out for the lead. ‘And I’ll choose a few pieces to start you off while you try to explain to Clara what an idiot you’ve been.’

Her forehead pinched again and her attention lasered across his face leaving a streak of heat. ‘Liam.’ She drew in a long breath. ‘I know how hurt you were by Graham and Mia. I know you deserved more, god knows we all do.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘But sometimes you get to the point in life when it’s time to move on. Sometimes holding onto all that anger ends up causing more damage to you than anyone else. You have to choose something new.’

‘I know,’ Liam said, pinching his lips. ‘It’s… it’s what I’ve been thinking; all I was thinking about for the last few days.’ He shoved his hands into his pockets. ‘I’m just not sure if I’m ready.’

Eleanor sighed. ‘You know the person you’re hurting most is yourself?’ she asked gently.

He jerked his chin. ‘I know. I do want to talk to Clara, though.’ His breath came out in a gush and he felt like he’d just expelled something thorny from his throat. ‘I’ll go and see her now,’ he murmured, feeling his body hum with trepidation as he made his way to the back of the shop and the entrance that would lead him up to Eleanor’s flat.

‘Make sure you sort it out – and don’t forget you’re both doing the local radio show later. It’ll be much better advertising for the Christmas fayre if Mr and Mrs Christmas aren’t at each other’s throats,’ Eleanor shouted after him as he opened the door.

Liam could hear Christmas music playing as he made his way up the stairs. He took a right at the top, guessing Clara was in the kitchen from the incredible chocolatey scent wafting through the air. There seemed to be even more Christmas lights adorning the walls and ceiling of the hallway since he’d last visited. He paused just outside the doorway of the kitchen to admire them and took in a deep breath, trying to clear his mind because he was suddenly nervous.

But before he could enter, Clara came barrelling out and crashed into him, knocking him off his feet.

‘What the hell!’ she shrieked as he inadvertently held onto her arms as he tumbled, taking her with him as they both fell and she landed heavily on his chest. Liam tried not to notice the way Clara’s hips settled on his groin, making his body tighten and heat.

‘Ouch,’ he said as the box in his pocket dug into his right thigh.

‘Liam?’ Clara gasped, trying to scramble upwards, pausing momentarily on her knees which were pressed on either side of one of his legs. She stared down into his face, hers a picture of shock and— Wow, her eyes were dark and her hair was mussed and she looked stunning.

‘Surprise,’ he rasped, reaching to rub his head where a bruise was forming. The floor beneath him was carpeted, but he’d still whacked it when he fell. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said when her eyes narrowed. ‘I didn’t mean to startle you.’

She dug an elbow into his chest and got to her feet. ‘What, when you sneaked into Eleanor’s flat and didn’t warn me before you jumped out from behind a door?’ she asked. ‘You didn’t think that would frighten me?’ Her voice wobbled and it was clear she was shaken.

‘I’m sorry,’ Liam repeated, reaching up his hand, intending to offer comfort before he dropped it. He didn’t have the right to touch Clara, and he wasn’t here to make things worse. ‘I’m an idiot.’

‘You certainly are,’ she muttered, but she sounded less angry now. She sighed and offered him a hand. ‘You’d better get up. Are you hurt?’ Her eyebrows drew together as she studied him. ‘Because you went down really hard with me on top — and I’m hardly a lightweight.’

‘You’re perfect, Clara,’ Liam said. The rasp in his voice told him everything he needed to know about his growing feelings for this woman, about the attraction humming between them – despite the anger and hurt he could see in Clara’s eyes. ‘I came to tell you I’m sorry,’ he said as he took her hand and got to his feet before reaching into his pocket for the Tupperware container and offering it to her.

‘What’s this?’ she asked, taking it and frowning.

‘A peace offering. Brownies,’ he said, feeling embarrassed. ‘My speciality.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Charlie.’ He paused. ‘My son – insisted on helping which is why they’re covered in a mountain of sprinkles.’ Liam hadn’t had the heart to tell him that he shouldn’t use the entire pot.

‘Charlie.’ Clara’s expression softened and she nodded before she frowned again. ‘Where is he?’ She peered into the hallway behind him.

‘With my neighbour Jenny. She’s been babysitting for me – far too often recently but what with playing Mr Christmas, Figgy and work…’ He pulled a face. ‘She doesn’t mind and Charlie adores her.’ It was the only reason he could live with it.

Clara nodded. ‘So…’ She opened the box and peered inside, her eyes widening. ‘Wow, that’s a lot of sprinkles, but that’s okay because I happen to love them.’ She turned away and headed back into the kitchen. ‘I’m cooking too. I do that when I need to clear my head. At least I did before I lived in New York,’ she admitted, her voice wavering a little. ‘The cupcakes are just…’ As she said the words, an alarm started to beep and she went to switch it off before drawing a tray from the oven and putting it on the side. The smell of chocolate was stronger now and it wafted across the kitchen, making Liam’s stomach grumble. ‘I made trifle too if you’re hungry?’

As olive branches went, it wasn’t very enthusiastic, but Liam nodded. ‘Yes, um, thanks. So, did you hear from Hudson?’ he asked, watching as she got the trifle from the fridge and put it on the side and then proceeded to scoop a generous portion into a bowl before grabbing a spoon.

‘No.’ She sighed. ‘It’s probably easier. Even if he’d contacted me, I wouldn’t have changed my decision. But it hurts that I wasn’t worth at least a phone call.’ She offered him the bowl and went to put the dessert away.

‘I’m sorry,’ Liam said. He meant it, but he wasn’t sorry that Clara had kicked Hudson to the kerb. He didn’t deserve her, but then again, neither did he… ‘Look, I’ve got some things to say.’

‘So go ahead,’ Clara said softly as she busied herself around the kitchen. She had her back to him as she loaded the dishwasher, clearly trying to avoid his gaze.

‘The thing is…’ Liam paused. This was more difficult than he’d imagined and he’d been expecting it to be hard. ‘I’m here to apologise – not just with brownies but with words.’ He paused again. ‘Will you stand still for a moment please?’

‘Sure.’ Clara went to stand at the other side of the kitchen, leaned back against the counter and folded her arms, her expression blank. ‘Go ahead.’