Page 36 of Christmas, Actually

Mia nodded, her red curls framing her face. ‘I’m here to apologise.’ She cleared her throat, looking nervous, and dropped her eyes back to her mug. ‘I feel bad for what happened. For leaving the way I did and for Graham too, I suppose. I mean, it wasn’t really my fault.’ She met his eyes again. Hers were misty, like she was about to cry – but he knew her games, knew she was looking for sympathy. ‘I was a mess after Charlie was born, it was really hard for me, I wasn’t ready to be a parent.’ Her voice wobbled.

‘I understand,’ he replied.

She shrugged. ‘Maybe I’m just more sensitive than most.’ Her mouth pinched. She’d painted it a becoming shade of pink, but what would have once made him weak, now made him suspicious.

‘Maybe,’ he said – because he wasn’t going to argue with her. ‘So.’ He waited as Hazel approached and put a mug and plate in front of him before offering a sympathetic smile. ‘Thanks,’ he said, watching her wander back to the counter just as Sam appeared behind it too and frowned at his brother, jostling with him as a blonde girl approached and they fought to get there first. He knew how it felt to fight over someone and for the first time wondered how it might feel if those old wounds could be healed. Watching it play out in front of him seemed… well, like such a waste. But he wasn’t ready to address his feelings for Graham. And he definitely wasn’t ready to forgive.

‘So,’ Mia huffed as she sat back in her chair and folded her arms. ‘You don’t seem very happy to see me. Don’t I look pretty today? I just had my hair done, I’ve got some lowlights. They really work, don’t they?’ She brushed her locks, looking offended when he didn’t automatically agree.

‘It’s been a long time,’ he said. She was gorgeous, but he wasn’t going to compliment her – talk about mixed messages. Besides, how she looked didn’t matter to him. ‘Plus, when you sent the divorce papers two years ago, you mentioned that you wouldn’t be back. It’s a surprise. Maybe you should tell me what you want, Mia, and we can go from there.’ He took a sip of coffee. He didn’t particularly want it – he didn’t like coffee anymore – but it was better if he could keep his hands busy.

Mia frowned at him and he recognised the look. Things weren’t going her way and she was trying to figure out how to get what she wanted. ‘I’ve missed you,’ she said, dropping her voice, imbuing it with a husky quality – one that would have driven him wild once. ‘I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since I left.’ She slowly nibbled her bottom lip.

‘You’ve been thinking about me for over two years?’ he asked, the disbelief clear in his tone. ‘Surprising you never contacted me then.’

She ignored the comment. ‘Nobody has ever come close to how I feel about you, Liam. I had to leave to understand that.’ Her eyes shone.

‘And Charlie?’ he asked, because he couldn’t help himself. ‘What about our son?’

Annoyance flickered across her face. ‘He’s important too of course. It’s why I’m here. I want us to be a family again.’ She leaned forward and placed a palm over his, but he tugged his hand away and put it on his lap. ‘We both know two parents are better than one. I’m ready to be a mother now, Liam. I still love you. I want us to make a new start. I can move in whenever you want, be with you for Christmas.’ She beamed. ‘I’m already packed, so we could do it today.’

Her words were punctuated by a sudden ding from Liam’s mobile and he pulled it from his pocket. ‘I’m sorry, I need to get this in case it’s about Charlie,’ he said, frowning when he saw the text was from a new unknown number.

He hadn’t heard from his mystery messenger since he’d called into the radio show. Had hoped that was the end of the communications. But it seemed he’d been wrong.

I hear your surprise arrived. Make sure you don’t unwrap it.

‘So?’ Mia asked impatiently. ‘Is it about our son?’ Her emphasis of the last word grated on him.

He shook his head before his attention strayed back to her. ‘I’ve been getting some odd messages recently. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?’ The timing was suspicious. They’d started less than a week before Mia had appeared and she could definitely be described as a Christmas surprise. He twisted the phone to show her. ‘Do you recognise the number?’

Mia flushed and her eyes shot to the table. ‘No. I know nothing about that,’ she said tightly and Liam knew she was lying, but it was no more than he expected. He knew she wouldn’t come clean, so he just needed to get this meeting over with.

‘We were talking about me moving back in with you,’ Mia said impatiently. ‘Not about texts from people I don’t know.’

Liam frowned. The mystery text didn’t matter – he’d just ignore it like he had the others and block the number again. ‘The thing is, Mia…’ He drew in a long breath. ‘I don’t want to get back together.’

She pouted. ‘You’ve met someone else?’ she accused, her flawless forehead creasing.

Liam thought about Clara, about the feelings she was eliciting from him. But she would be going back to New York. He had no idea if they had any chance of a future together. It was way too early to predict. ‘No, I haven’t,’ he said. ‘I just… We’re divorced, Mia, you left. Our marriage isn’t something you can just drop and pick up. We’re not going to do a redo like we’re in a movie with new characters and a better ending. If you want to see Charlie, though –’ He shut his eyes feeling a weight settle on his chest. ‘– you can, of course. Although we’ll need to put in some ground rules.’

‘Ground rules,’ she shot back, her blue eyes firing. ‘I’m his mother. I should get to do what I want.’

Liam sucked in a long breath, he had to stay calm. ‘Charlie comes first. We’ll set up some visits. With me there at first so I can introduce you properly.’ And maybe with Jenny later if she’d agree? He wanted to make sure his son had a safe harbour if Mia lost interest.

‘Great. Like a proper family then,’ she said, nodding, her expression happier as her shoulders relaxed. ‘Once you see how well we get on, you might change your mind about me moving in.’

Liam wasn’t going to repeat himself – Mia would see soon enough that there was no future for them.

‘Yes, I can work with that. I’m… bunking with a friend at the moment because I’m in between houses and as you know I’m not too far away.’ She blinked, a sure sign she wasn’t telling the whole truth. ‘When?’

Liam shrugged. ‘How about this afternoon at two o’clock – we can meet in the park?’ He had a client to visit before he picked Charlie up from preschool and then they’d go straight from there. He’d explain in the car, figure out exactly what he told his son, how to ensure he didn’t get his hopes up. But if Liam was there, he could at least keep a firm grip on expectations and make sure Charlie was okay. Hopefully, he could also figure out exactly what his ex-wife really wanted – it was unlikely to be a relationship with her son.

Liam’s mind whirred, calculating logistics. He had a committee meeting this evening, so he had an excuse to keep their meetup in the park short. He was hoping to pick Clara up for it. Liam’s stomach fluttered and he fancied he’d caught the scent of trifle, wished he had a bowl. Wished it was Clara sitting opposite him, before wishing that he hadn’t just thought that. It was way too soon for wishes and longing and expectations that would only be dashed. He was already getting in too deep. He had to watch himself. ‘I’d better go.’ He stood abruptly.

‘You haven’t finished your drink or food,’ Mia gasped.

‘I’m not that hungry,’ Liam told her. ‘And I’ve got to get to work. See you later, Mia,’ he said before striding from the café.