Page 37 of Christmas, Actually

Mia was waiting in the small park closest to the preschool when Liam and Charlie arrived. He stood for a moment watching as she gazed at their son, her face a picture of shock and incomprehension.

‘He’s grown. I thought children were supposed to be shorter at his age,’ Mia observed, coming to greet them, clutching a small white teddy bear with a teething blanket that would be more suited to someone half Charlie’s age.

‘Kids grow,’ Liam said, almost biting off his tongue before he finished the sentence with: especially if you don’t see them for two and a half years. She was here and she was trying and he had to give her credit for that at least. ‘Charlie, this is Mia, she’s⁠—’

He’d been planning to take things slow, to introduce Mia by degrees, but she blurted ‘Your mummy!’ and thrust the toy at their son before he had a chance to finish.

Charlie frowned at the bear, but he took it and nodded before placing it carefully on the park bench, trying to be polite in the way only a four-year-old can. ‘Thank you. I’m Charlie Armstrong,’ he said stiffly. ‘And that’s Figgy – he likes blankets and fluffy toys.’ He nodded at the dog, perhaps hoping he’d take over from here, before he turned abruptly and charged towards the swings.

Mia stared at Charlie as he began to climb onto one of the seats, her bottom lip pinched between her teeth. ‘He didn’t like his present,’ she said, sounding put out. ‘And I’m not sure he understands I’m his mum. Didn’t he hear? He doesn’t seem interested.’ Her forehead bunched.

‘I think he’s just more focused on playing at the moment.’ Liam found himself using his most soothing tone, wondering why he wanted to placate her. Mia didn’t have a relationship with Charlie because she hadn’t been here to form one. It was going to take patience. ‘Give him time,’ he said generously, because he wasn’t looking to hurt her. He just didn’t trust what Mia was going to do next.

‘Dad, push me!’ Charlie yelled as he managed to get himself into the seat and wriggled his short legs trying to make the swing move, almost losing his yellow wellington boot in the process.

‘Is he always this loud?’ Mia asked, wincing.

‘Nope. This is a quiet day for him,’ Liam joked. ‘You should see him after he’s eaten a plate of brownies or buttered toast. But don’t worry. You’ll get used to the volume. Ear plugs help.’ He didn’t want to sugar-coat things. Mia needed to understand what to expect from an energetic four-year-old and silence wasn’t it. ‘He’s very quiet when he’s asleep, though.’

She winced as Liam wrapped Figgy’s lead around the bench Charlie had left the toy bear on and fed the dog a couple of treats. The retriever sniffed the toy for a second before turning up his nose too and whining for more food. Liam gave in and fed him some. ‘You should come,’ he told Mia as he strode over to where Charlie was still jiggling his legs. ‘Do you want to push?’ he asked.

‘You do it. I’m not very experienced.’

‘It’s easy enough,’ he muttered.

She shoved her hands into her pockets and glanced around the park. It was beginning to snow and the ground was covered in glittery ice. There were three snowmen standing guard by the roundabout and someone had put faces on them with carrots and black buttons. ‘Do you come here a lot?’ she asked, her voice cracking.

‘Most days,’ he said, pushing Charlie gently, knowing he was going to complain and demand that he pushed harder soon.

‘Most days?’ Mia echoed.

‘Higher. I’m not a baby!’ His son yelled, proving Liam’s earlier point. He did as he was told, ensuring Charlie was holding on tight. The boy started to giggle as the swing swung upwards and Liam glanced at Mia – hoping to see her expression, to share the moment with someone who’d understand. But she’d pulled her mobile from her pocket and her attention was fixed on the screen. ‘Higher!’ Charlie shouted again and Liam pushed, but Mia didn’t even glance their way.

‘Is Mia Mum looking?’ Charlie asked, clearly too focused on his view to bother checking for himself. But Liam noticed he’d picked up on what Mia had told him and had already created a special name. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

‘Of course she’s looking,’ he lied as disappointment flooded through him. But he knew better than anyone to temper his expectations. It was early days. Perhaps in time Mia would understand that paying attention to children mattered. This was day one, their first outing. She was probably just overwhelmed.

‘Sorry, damn. I’ve had a message. It’s from someone I—’ She pulled a face. ‘A friend. He’s – well, we fell out, but he wants to talk. I’ve got to go and see him now.’

‘Now?’ Liam asked. He shouldn’t have been surprised that she was choosing a stranger over her son.

‘It’s important.’ She put the mobile back in her pocket and moved closer as Liam held onto the seat, intending to slow the swing. ‘I should say goodbye.’ Mia reached out and grabbed one of the chains on the swing too, clearly intending to help. ‘Damn,’ she yelped as the action made it jerk and Charlie tipped off and landed face first on the snowy ground. ‘I’m sorry!’ she said as he shrieked and began to cry.

Liam charged to his son and checked him over as fat tears poured down his cheeks. ‘It’s okay, you’re okay,’ he soothed, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small biscuit which Charlie immediately gobbled up.

‘Why did you make me stop!’ he demanded as the tears dried up. He stood and Liam helped to swipe snow from his legs.

‘Oh, well, because I have to go,’ Mia gulped, her eyes wide as she looked between Liam and Charlie and took a step back. ‘Um, I’m glad you’re okay.’ She gazed at him for another moment clearly expecting him to sob again or even explode. If it wasn’t so sad, it might have been funny. ‘You should get back on the swing.’ She jabbed a hand at Charlie.

The boy nodded and turned, then went to ease himself back on the seat as Mia continued to step away. ‘He was crying,’ she said, her eyes wide.

‘He does that. He’s okay now, though,’ Liam soothed, turning to check on Charlie, ready to pick up the pieces.

‘Ah well.’ She paused. ‘I’ll message and we can put in another date. Maybe next time we should go to a restaurant or something.’ When Liam turned back, she was biting her lip.

‘I think we should stick with the park,’ he said because Charlie and restaurants really didn’t mix. ‘How about meeting and bringing him here again on Saturday at ten o’clock?’

Mia sighed. ‘Fine.’ She turned around, clearly intent on leaving.