Page 47 of The Need to Know

“I’m quaking with excitement,” I joked.

“My girl Deja has a cousin who spent some time with Mr. Marcuson.”

“That his last name?”

Paisley nodded. “Oh yeah.”

“What’s the verdict?” I dared to ask.

With a straight face, Paisley said, “He’s a demon.”

I gulped. “Yikes.”

Pity soaked Paisley’s features as she went on. “Yep, ol’ girl said the dick is immaculate. I’m talking grade A, prime, soul-mate dick.”

I went through my mental rolodex for the terms I knew by heart already.

Boyfriend/Husband Dick: Average or above average peen, enjoyable and satisfying for long-term relationships. Dick you can take every day.

One-Night Stand Dick: Well-endowed. Enjoyable for one mind-blowing night, but takes days to prepare for and days to recover after use. Can be painful at times. Strictly Size-Queen material in the long run.

But “soul-mate dick”?

“And what’s that mean?” I had to know.

Paisley grinned nice and big. “Soul-mate dick: where it’s big, not painful, and he knows how to use it. Life-ruining dick.”

Well-endowed but not painful? I was curious about that. I liked big guys, but I liked my cervix more.

“You ever hear something that sounds too good to be true?” I wondered.

“Oh, I hear you. But hearing the story how I heard it confirms it for me.” Paisley chuckled. “Deja said her cousin was gone over Ezekiel. Unlike most men, he’s a pleaser—won’t stop until you get yours first. The cousin had to block his number and cut him off cold turkey because it’s too good not to get attached. It’s the fact that he plays the field and she knew she’d end up sharing that made her cling to the last bit of her senses.”

Damn. Ezekiel’s rap sheet was enough to go through with the one-night stand.

Paisley stood up, going and collecting the mail from the mailman as he was walking by our front windows. He only handed her a catalogue before carrying on down the strip.

“Sounds like a wet dream, but the details are too good to pass up,” Paisley said with a shrug.

“I definitely like what I heard. A man that’s a pleaser? Might as well be a damn unicorn.”

“Heard you! There’s nothing worse than when he’s hung and doesn’t know how to use it, or he’s selfish and just cares about his own release. The type that fucks you with the jackhammer technique.” Paisley shook real fast as if she was having a convulsion to emulate the style she despised.

It was partly funny, but then it wasn’t. That’s when sex got painful, when he was packing but went too fast and didn’t care about your satisfaction. “Ugh. I hate the jackhammer move.”

“That’s why I like it when I’m on top. But, I gotta say, Ezekiel sounds like a good time,” Paisley admitted. “The type that makes being a pillow princess rewarding.” She threw her head back and pretended to moan out. “Yes, Daddy, worship me.”

While I didn’t mind lying back and taking all the pleasure I could get, one look at Ezekiel sent my thoughts to dirty places. “Yeah, but look at him.”

Paisley sat back down beside me. “True, that is one big piece of chocolate you want to slowly melt in your mouth.”

She had no idea. He said all the right things and he had the looks, and twice now he’d aroused me to the point of going to bed angry and horny.

Paisley regarded me solemnly and sternly. “You’re my girl and I care about you. I’m always going to keep it one hundred and tell it like it is.” She wagged her finger for added effect. “Life is short.”

“That it is.”

“He’s not long-term material, at all. He isn’t ‘the one’ for you.”