Page 48 of The Need to Know

My shoulders sagged at the blunt truth of it all. “No, he isn’t.”

“Sometimes you meet people and they are who they already are. You can’t change a person.”

“I know.”

“So, take it for what it is. The world could end tomorrow, so get the dick today, sis!” Paisley chastised as she whacked me with her catalogue. “And then when you’re done, move on. Simple.”

It could all be so simple. Why was I making a science out of this? It was nature. Primal instinct. Practically guaranteed good sex.

The trouble was, while it wasn’t yet deep, I did already like Ezekiel. I liked talking to him. I liked his manners and persona. Did I really want to waste him on a one-night stand? Could we just be cool friends?

I was back at square one. Not knowing what was best for me, although my conscience had an idea.

“You ever been in love?” I wondered.

“Once,” Paisley admitted, holding up a single digit. She soon looked off, losing herself in a vivid memory, it seemed. “Years ago. Sloan Strickland. You know how everyone goes on about ‘my person, my person.’ That’s what Sloan was to me. I could be a real moody bitch at times because of some class or whatever, and he’d just be super patient with me. He remembered things about me. Was attentive and intentional. He made me let go and be soft and vulnerable with him. He kept me safe. Everything clicked and made sense.

“Hell, I knew it was love because we used to have morning sex, his chest to my back—to avoid bad breath. But sometimes he didn’t care because we were that close and he loved all of me that much.”

I chuckled. “Oh-kay.”

“I’m serious. When they’re willing to put up with your funky breath for that a.m. round, that’s something.”

When I’d dropped out of college, there was a period in my life where I wasn’t keeping up with Paisley that closely while she’d been figuring out her own shit. I tried remembering and picturing Sloan and came up with a blank. “So, what happened?”

Now Paisley was sad, her features turning down as her gaze fell to the floor. “We were twenty. There was so much we didn’t know, so much to still experience and learn. Nobody cheated or anything, but there was growing resentment. He had serious FOMO. He thought I was holding him back and he was missing out on everything, and I believed he was mine, that no one else could have him.

“My parents loved Sloan as much as I did, and they like to believe we were too young and fell into each other at the wrong time.” Paisley twisted her mouth to one side, her eyes suddenly glassy. “I used to hate that reasoning because I thought that if it were real, right, and true, then time couldn’t faze us. Boy, was I wrong. That’s actually the only time I’ve been in love, and trust me, that shit hurt like a motherfucker.”

“You ever see him around sometimes?” This whole relationship was news to me, especially considering the vulnerable side of Paisley I hardly ever saw.

She gave a limp shrug. “I’m thankful that Belmont is as big as it is and as busy, because I don’t know what I would do or how I would react if I did see him. I can eat through a man like it’s nothing, but Sloan? That’s the one before the walls went up.”

I knew that feeling all too well. At least, Paisley had fallen for a great guy before things went sour. What I had with Corey wasn’t anything worth looking back on, because the memories didn’t compare.

Corey was as worse as they got. The type that sent I Love You texts in invisible ink.

“Ugh, enough about the past. We should go out to the club tonight. BLVCKJVCK is having a strictly R&B night.” Paisley shot back up and wined her body to a song I didn’t hear. “I’m in the mood for somethin’ slow.”

“Don’t you gotta get up early in the morning for a business meeting?” I teased.

Paisley calmed down. “In that regard, so does he.”

BLVCKJVCK was tempting, but with talk of Ezekiel’s capabilities, and my own desire already building, I didn’t trust myself to go to the club so soon. I knew in the back of my mind that I was itching to bed him, but painfully, I had to decide on when.

My phone was ringing and a look at the caller ID had me sweating bullets.

Shit.

Pops was to the right of me, caging me in the booth we were sitting in. The phone call could not happen now. In front of him.

Tee Money was calling. I’d really been on one when I’d given him my number. I still owed him an answer to his offer. It was easy to say no when Tee’s glaring call wasn’t in my face.

“Going to answer that?” Pops leaned over my shoulder, peering at me and not stealing a glance at my phone. He trusted and respected me.

I almost felt sick.

Clearing my throat, I tucked my phone away and sat up straight. “Nah, it can wait.”