Page 54 of Trivium

His intense, fevered stare cut her heart open, confirming everything she feared: Lennox despised her, thought her a failure, just like everyone else. She had been vulnerable with him and now he thought worse of her for it. It triggered a primal urge in her to fight, to make him feel as low as she did.

The rain was in her eyelashes now, blurring her vision, and she blinked to try and clear them. Ready to fight, she unsheathed the dagger from her thigh. Lennox watched her, hands remaining at his sides, weaponless.

Grab your dagger! She screamed into the void of her mind. Was she really so easy to beat that he didn’t even need a weapon? The desire to win, to prove herself, surged through her. She dared him with her eyes to fight.

Does it bother you? That you’ll always be in Ren’s shadow? That’s what she had tried to say, what she had barely choked out before Lennox attacked. She had been ready to turn his confession into a weapon. It was cruel, but Ahmina was furious, betrayed, and desperate to win—to show she deserved to be here. But the back blow of her stifled attack had cut her too.

Lennox’s eyes searched hers, waiting for her to continue what she started, to deliver the hit. He knew where this was going.

“Grab your dagger, you idiot,” she yelled through the pouring rain, giving life to her thoughts.

“Say it!” he challenged back.

“No!” she screamed, reaching a breaking point, her heart breaking. She couldn’t do it. “I won’t,” she whispered, mostly to herself. She wanted to make Lennox feel as worthless as she did. To prove to Barrow, and maybe even more importantly to herself, that she had what it took to be a Defender. But she couldn’t bring herself to attack Lennox. Not again. Not after he helped her when she was at her lowest. And not after he saved her life. Most of all, even through her blinding anger, it broke her heart.

Barrow returned, his composure regained. “We’re rained out; let’s end it here,” he said, picking up the sparring sticks and jogging back toward the school. The rest of the students had already gone inside to escape the downpour, and Lennox and Ahmina were left alone on the Battlegrounds.

Leaning in close, Lennox’s deep voice was soft in her ear. “You can do better than that, no?” His eyes locked on hers. Then he turned and walked back toward the castle, abandoning her under the crying sky.

You can do better than that.

She couldn’t tell if he was referring to their fight or whatever had just happened with Barrow, so she just stood there and let the tears fall with the rain.

39

LOVELEENA

Loveleena lay restless, tossing her sheets around like a sworn enemy. If Ren cared about her act of defiance in his apartment, he didn’t show it, and the posters she had placed around the Academy and the village had been ripped down as fast as they were put up.

All it did was create gossip about her.

Loveleena wanted to throw them all over the Great Wall.

Ruminating on it in the dark didn’t help. So, she slid out of bed quietly, trying not to wake Kumani, and slipped on her pants before sneaking out of the dorms for some fresh air. The thrum of music and the mingled voices from Jarrah’s yearly Night Festival—a celebration of the Moon Goddess’s birthday—caressed her ears as she wandered out into the courtyard, along the edge of the trees, and up to the far edge of the grounds. She hadn’t realized how much she missed the festival. Vendors crowded the streets, musicians played until their fingers were raw, and performers awed the crowd. All of Jarrah attended the Night Festival. Everyone except Defenders, of course. The festival’s infamous roasted cheese dip and fresh mulberry wine filled her senses from memory, and she let out a soft groan. After months of eating Academy stew, she would have killed for the richness of festival food.

She looked up at the full moon glowing proudly in the sky and wondered what the Moon Goddess knew about her struggles. It was a clear night, and her gaze drifted to study the stars sprinkled in the sky.

Park used to say that the stars were just them living life on another planet at the same time. That you could only see stars where your soul was. One time she asked him what the Moon Goddess thought of that idea, since most believed that she was the gatekeeper to the stars beyond. Park smiled, eyes twinkling, and said, “she doesn’t see them; don’t tell her.”

Maybe he had gone mad and ran off into the forest.

She traced her fingers over the cool stone architecture as she moved along the Great Wall, snagging on vines occasionally. After sparring all afternoon, her legs ached from walking across the entire campus, and she decided to turn back. Now that she was tired, maybe she could get some sleep.

It was then that she noticed something creeping up ahead of her—a man.

She quieted her steps, sneaking behind a tree so as not to be seen. His movements were quick and calculated as he slid stones out from the wall, creating just enough of a space to slip through.

She knew that move anywhere. Ren.

Loveleena wasn’t as smooth as Ren, but she managed to find the loose stones and slip through the wall without much fuss. She traced his path through the forest, which was brief, before he went through a second opening. This one emerged onto the street far enough from the Academy entrance to not be seen. Following him down a side street, she tried to stay quiet and hidden until she reached the festival, letting out a breath at the sight of it.

The moon festival always felt electric.

She kept her eyes locked on Ren as he made his way along the edge of the festivities, before disappearing easily into the crowd. Panicked that she lost him, she scanned the faces, looking for signs. His jet-black hair, tattoos, or angular jaw—anything.

But he was gone.

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