Page 55 of Trivium

AHMINA

Ahmina was late for Alchemy. She had been studying in the library when she lost track of time. The halls were bare, and her steps squeaked on the marble floor as she rushed along. She was almost out of the castle, just one final corner to turn, when she ran right into Lennox, her arms folding as she slammed into his chest with a thump.

“There you are,” he said, steadying her shoulders. “We need to talk.”

Her eyes dragged up and down as she stepped back, putting space between them. He must have just come back from the Battlegrounds. Golden skin glowing from sweat. His chest heaving with exertion…

Ahmina’s heart stopped. He looked so good.

She cleared her throat, reminding herself that he wanted nothing to do with her, and that she was an embarrassment to be around. A protest to the longing in her chest.

“I’ve been looking for you all day,” he said, bringing Ahmina to the present again.

“You have?”

“Of course.”

“Why?”

“To apologize.”

Oh. So, he didn’t completely hate her? She let out a heavy breath. Even the constant headache she had had for weeks lifted slightly. She couldn’t escape it—the ember quietly burning inside of her when he was around.

“I should be the one apologizing,” she said, head hung. “You told me something really personal and I”—she swallowed—“I was going to use it against you.”

“It’s what a good Defender would do,” he said, making a point to validate her.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be a Defender… I’m not even a good student,” she said defeated, and he tipped her chin up.

“I brought you something.” Reaching into his leather satchel, he pulled out a rich leather notebook with a small yellow flower—she loved yellow flowers—pinned to the front. She flipped through the pages scribbled with notes from top to bottom. Alchemy, Combat, Strategy, Mastery—it was all there.

“What is this?”

“It was Serena’s. She was a Clever and she spent her entire time at the Academy taking notes on things that you won’t find in textbooks.” He pointed to the flower. “And I added that for you. To make it your own.”

Ahmina’s eyes widened. “Wow, that’s…” She looked up at Lennox, who gazed at her, his eyes soft. “Does she mind that you’re giving it to me?”

Lennox shrugged. “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

Ahmina shut the notebook and slid it into her bag, a deep crease across her brow. She didn’t like the idea of taking another student’s notes without them knowing, but she was desperate. It wouldn’t hurt anyone for her to use these, would it? Serena had already graduated and was out defending Jarrah beyond the wall, so it wasn’t like she needed it.

“I promise you, it’s fine,” Lennox said, noticing her hesitation and reassuring her. “It may not solve all your problems, but it will help.”

“Okay, thanks.”

Students’ voices drifted in from down the hall, and Lennox grabbed her hand, pulling her around the corner, his hand lingering on hers. “We need to talk.”

They stood alone again, their bodies so close she could feel the heat coming off his skin. Silently, they both studied each other’s faces before she broke eye contact. When he looked at her like that, it made her feel so exposed, like she couldn’t hide a thing, even if she tried. He saw through her somehow. Ever since that day in the library, whenever she felt the panic rise in her, all she could think about was Lennox’s calming voice guiding her down from the ledge of her own self-inflicted doom.

Anastasia had taught her to be self-reliant and independent. She hadn’t known what it was like to have a father, a brother, or even a male friend that prioritized her wellbeing. Men had always been passing characters in her life. Clouds floating in and out, never staying for too long. Rory and Elder Muaka were the ones who had been there for her through it all.

It was different with Lennox. She liked that he challenged her. She liked that they could be vulnerable with each other. She liked that he took care of her, tried to keep her safe when all she felt was relentless fear.

Worst of all, she liked when their bodies were close, when their hands grazed, when she could feel his body heat. She liked it in passionate, careless, dangerous ways.

Maybe, just maybe, she hated that he had saved her because admitting she liked it was worse.

But she couldn’t let anything happen between them. Lennox was a distraction—a very handsome one—and she had enough on her plate already. Plus, she saw how people whispered about her when she passed. Once her grades improved, she didn’t want anyone saying it was because Lennox helped her. She wanted to earn her place at the Academy. To deserve it. If people talked about her, she wanted it to be for the right reasons.