Page 55 of Never Let Go

I turned to frown at the pretty girl with the sultry voice. “No, I don’t. Thanks for the offer, but I’m seeing someone.”

Kane and Avery shot me looks that said they thought I’d lost my mind, but I hadn’t. I just wasn’t interested at all. The only woman I wanted right now was Amanda.

Porter, however, nodded his approval at me when the girl shrugged and went up to Avery next, and he grinned as he came to stand beside me. “It’s a good feeling, right?”

“What?”

“Feeling like you’ve found the love of your life.”

My brows shot up, but I didn’t disagree. I wouldn’t say that I knew for sure that she was the love of my life, but feeling like I might’ve found just that? It was a good feeling. One I didn’t plan on ruining over a possible one-night stand with a smoking-hot woman I didn’t want right now anyway.

26

SHELBY

Ashley was helping me get ready for our fourth date, the last one before the big reveal. As she braided my hair, my friend coached me for what was known as the run-through for the next time when he’d actually see me.

“Talk to him about it,” she said wisely. “Be open and honest about your fears and your expectations, and don’t shy away from the hard stuff. If there’s anything you’re worried about, tell him.”

Since I couldn’t nod while her fingers plucked at my hair, I simply lifted my gaze to meet hers in the mirror. “I’m not particularly worried about what he looks like. I already know he doesn’t smell bad and that he takes care of himself. I mean, he shaves and his hair feels neat enough, so I don’t think he’s going to wind up looking like a vampire who’s been living underground for the last hundred years, but I’m a little bit nervous about what he’s going to think of me.”

“That’s fair,” she said patiently. “Nerves are natural for this situation, though. Just don’t let them hold you back. Do you know that I’ve heard many of these dating in the dark relationships almost fall apart because people decline the fifth date simply for being too afraid to reveal themselves?”

“Wow. I guess the people who work there must have their hands full with everyone’s insecurities, but I won’t let mine stop me. I’m just nervous.”

She finished tying my hair and then dipped down so her cheek was pressed to mine as she stared at me in the reflection. “You are gorgeous. If he doesn’t see that, then he never deserved you anyway. Remember that.”

I nodded, leaning into her for a moment. I took a deep breath and then scooted forward. “Am I done?”

She smiled at me. “You are. Have fun tonight, Shel. There’s something magical about this last blind date before you’ll get to see each other. It’s the one you’re going to look back on most and with the fondest memories. Make every minute count.”

I slid my purse off the dresser, nodding at her. I turned to give her a hug goodbye. After leaving her house, I headed over to an ice-cream shop this time, already knowing we were both going to be complete messes by the time we left.

In order to guarantee utter darkness, the front of the parlor had been blocked out with heavy drapes in the windows and all the lights were off inside. I was shown in by an employee, then told they’d be serving our sundaes in a few as I got settled in my seat.

It was still disconcerting not to be able to see even my hand in front of my eyes, but I somehow sensed that Tyler was already here even before he said anything. “I’ve been looking forward to this. How are you, Amanda?”

“I’m okay. A little bit nervous, but otherwise okay. You?”

A deep chuckle filled the air around me, and I shivered, still completely surprised by the physical effect this man had on me. “I’m good. No cold feet yet. Anything interesting happen to you these last few days?”

I shrugged. “Not really. I did have some courage talked into me by those friends of mine who have been through this, though. You?”

“A few things,” he said. “Some that I’ve been meaning to talk to you about, actually, but we’ll get to that later.”

“No, it’s fine. Let’s get to it now. I’m too curious to wait. What’s going on?”

I heard a soft sigh from him and there was a moment of silence before he spoke again. “I’ve recently had some big changes in my life and I’m stuck in this weird funk even though I should be overjoyed.”

“Okay,” I said slowly, frowning as my head tilted in thought. “What’s keeping you from being overjoyed about it?”

“I just don’t feel like I’ve earned it.”

Immediately, I understood exactly where he was coming from. “I know you can’t give me any specific details, but just from that, I think I know why you feel the way you do. I’m the same way. I don’t mind working hard, but I want whatever I have to be mine. To have been earned.”

“Exactly that,” he said. “I had a feeling you’d understand.”

“I do.” I thought it over for another minute. “Do you feel like someone else has earned whatever this is? Like it’s similar to a promotion that someone else who is more deserving has been passed over for, or is it more of a victimless crime kind of situation?”