Page 99 of All for Love

My bags were packed and my toothbrush and underwear were in. If I’d forgotten any other items of a personal nature, it wasn’t quite as personal as those and I could probably do without it for a day. My trunk was full of gifts, so I couldn’t use that as an excuse either.

It’d felt like pulling teeth having to buy something for Kaden and Brooke, but I’d done it. Their presents were in and besides, I understood where they’d been coming from. Right now though, I still kind of hated their guts.

Unfortunately, Kaden was family and Brooke was his guest. If they were going to be there for Christmas, that meant I had to give them something. I sighed and tightened my grip on the steering wheel as the heavy gates swung open in front of me.

Everyone else’s cars were already here—with the obvious exception of Kody’s Maserati. There was another little sports car standing next to Kaden’s truck, though. I assumed that was either Kody’s new car or a rental, though it didn’t seem flashy enough to be the Maserati’s replacement.

I hated myself just a little bit for wondering how he felt about it. If he was planning on getting a new Maserati or if he’d decided on this one instead. Truth be told, it wasn’t even really about that. I hated myself that little bit because I wanted to know everything that was going on in his head. Every thought and plan.

I sighed, blinking away the burn behind my eyes, and parked on the other side of the rental car. Once my engine was off and my parking brake was on, I double checked to make sure there was nothing I could possibly use as an excuse to flee, then finally got out.

Cold air stung my face and seeped down to my bones as I walked around to the trunk and collected all the gifts. I shivered, my fingers aching. I wrapped them around the ribboned handles of the gift bags and carefully balanced the boxed stuff on my arms.

I’d have to come back for my overnight bag, but at least that would give me an excuse to come back outside for a few minutes. As I looked up at the imposing house looming over me, I couldn’t help but wonder what was waiting inside.

Another shiver passed through me and I realized that if I didn’t get my apprehensive butt in there, I might freeze and I would never find out what this new version of our family Christmas looked like. With my body shaking and my heart racing, my breaths coming out in puffs of white mist, I trudged to the door and nudged it open with my shoulder.

Warmth immediately enveloped me. I bumped the door shut with my ass and gratefully offloaded my Christmas haul onto the side table so I could take off my snowy coat and boots. The heavy winter jacket went on a hook with everyone else’s hanging in a row beside it and my boots joined the neat line on the floor.

After shaking my hands out to get blood flowing to my fingertips again, I collected the gifts once more and followed the sound of voices to the formal living room. That was where I found my dysfunctional new stepfamily—and my mother.

They were gathered near the live twenty-foot Christmas tree beside a large staircase leading to the second floor. The scent of a wood-burning fire and freshly baked cookies tinged the air in the room. I couldn’t deny that it was a beautiful sight—the tree with heaps of gifts underneath it, flames flickering in the fireplace, and all the decorations hanging from the ceilings and every other available surface.

Kody was sipping some sort of drink where he was lounging on the sofa. I felt his eyes on my back as I crouched quietly in front of the tree and placed everyone’s gifts there with the others. I also had a bag of stocking stuffers, but I set those aside to put in the stockings once they were hung.

Awkward silence settled over the room when they realized I’d snuck in. The fireplace crackled and Michael Bublé sang Christmas songs on the stereo, but no one said a word.

My mom was under Mr. Wagner’s arm on a sofa and Kaden and Brooke were cuddling on the loveseat across from them. All eyes were on me until one by one, they flicked to Kody, then back to me.

I chewed the inside of my cheek, considering making a run for it while they were all seated. Chances were that I’d make it to the freeway before they even realized I wasn’t coming back, but I couldn’t do that. I had to face this at some point, and it seemed that right now was that point.

“Merry Christmas, everyone,” I said, my voice sounding like the squeak of a terrified mouse even to my own ears.

I glanced at Kody, desperate to feel something other than the judgment in everyone else’s eyes, and he gave me the thinnest sliver of a smile in return. Even after all the hurtful things I’d said, he was willing to give me enough to get me through the moment, and right now, that was enough.

Not only because it had to be, but because it also meant I hadn’t been completely wrong about him. Deep down inside, he was a good man who deserved to be happy. It was just too bad neither of us could be that here.